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In the latest episode of “As the Presidential Debate Turns,” the real stars of the show are the members of the ‘Central Park Five,’ who have decided to take the fight straight to the courtroom stage, because why not? After all, nothing says “we’re serious” quite like a defamation suit against a man who believes press conferences are just loud karaoke sessions.

These five gentlemen have accused former President Donald Trump of blaring out “false, misleading, and defamatory” statements surrounding their infamous 1989 case, which, let’s be honest, reads more like an unhinged monologue from a low-budget thriller than a legal proceeding. It turns out that in Trump’s world, facts are as flexible as a gymnast at the Olympics, where gravity and truth take a permanent vacation.

As they filed their suit, one could only imagine Trump’s reaction: “False? Defamatory? Have you tried whispering sweet nothings to the press instead? It’s usually more effective!” Meanwhile, he’s probably planning his next debate strategy, which could simply involve reciting tweets like Shakespearean sonnets, because who doesn’t love some literary flair with their misinformation?

So here we are, watching this circus unfold, where a former reality show host is battling it out against justice in a courtroom that feels like it’s been designed by Salvador Dalí—distorted clocks and all. The irony is rich, almost as rich as Trump’s bank account, as these five men try to reclaim their narrative while the rest of us just sit back and pop popcorn. What a time to be alive!

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