[ad_1]
In a riveting display of civic duty, Trump’s latest town hall meeting turned into the world’s most expensive episode of “Survivor: Democracy Edition.” Just when the crowd was settling in for what we all anticipated would be a delightful round of “What’s Your Favorite Conspiracy Theory?”, medical emergencies broke out like popcorn in a microwave.

Picture this: A sea of well-coiffed supporters clutching their chests, not from the weight of their patriotism but from the sheer excitement of listening to a man who believes the Oval Office doubles as a set for a reality show. Perhaps those palpitations were just their hearts trying to escape the absurdity of chanting “Make America Great Again” while reaching for a double-decker cheeseburger.

As paramedics rushed in, it was unclear whether they were responding to actual heart attacks or just the inevitable realization that listening to Trump for too long can be a fatal attraction. The EMTs offered quick life-saving measures, which is ironic since those who prepped for the rally probably needed a life preserver from the tidal wave of outrageous claims, like the one about how he plans to fix the economy by sending everyone VCRs and promising they’ll be the next hot stock.

In the background, Trump continued his monologue, blissfully unaware — or maybe completely aware — that while he dodged questions like a contestant on a game show, actual healthcare was being enacted in the crowd. You couldn’t help but think that maybe it was a case of the audience collectively saying, “You know what would really help our wellbeing? A dose of reality, but we’ll settle for some paramedics instead.”

By the end of the event, it was hard to tell who had suffered more: the audience with their emerging medical issues or the country grappling with the political version of a multiple-choice test where all the answers lead to disaster. But hey, at least everyone got to go home with a great story — and some lingering questions about the proficiency of emergency services in the face of “alternative facts.”

[ad_2]
Source