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In a shocking twist of fate, Los Angeles Clippers forward Kawhi Leonard is set to join the “Injury Is Our Best Defense” club, as he will be out indefinitely to start the season due to right knee inflammation—also known in some circles as “knee-ache, but make it dramatic,” reports ESPN.

Leonard hasn’t bothered to grace us with his presence on the court during preseason, opting instead for the riveting sport of “knee rehabilitation,” which entails rigorous activities like Googling “how to make your knee not hurt” and avoiding real competition at all costs. He experienced the latest plot twist of his saga during offseason surgery, which has become a staple of his off-court lifestyle after he managed to play in only two of the Clippers’ last 14 games last season—those being the ones with the popcorn and soda, of course, as he cheered valiantly from the sidelines.

In July, Leonard made the wise decision to pull himself from Team USA for the Paris Olympics, choosing quality time with his knee over the thrill of competing for medals—clearly prioritizing “self-care” in a world of relentless sports demands.

“He has not been a part of what we’ve been doing on a daily basis,” said Clippers assistant coach Brian Shaw, clearly channeling Shakespeare with his tragic monologue on Kawhi’s absence. “I know the company line has been that we’re going to be patient with him.” There you have it, folks: Kawhi’s knee is the newest member of the team, and they’re committed to nurturing it back to health—no pressure, right?

Leonard played a stellar 68 games for the Clippers last season, which, to put into perspective, is his most since 2017. He averaged 23.7 points, 6.1 rebounds, and 3.1 assists—basically pulling a LeBron and making it look effortless while simultaneously perfecting the “will I play or won’t I” routine.

Ah, the irony! A premier NBA star, whose career trajectory could be likened to a soap opera filled with plot twists and cliffhangers, simply can’t catch a break. Remember when he was benched in the 2017 postseason for spraining his ankle? Good times. Or the part where he only played nine games the next season—truly a performance art piece on “The Art of the Vanishing Athlete.”

Since joining the Clippers in 2019, Leonard has a remarkable track record of playing in every playoff game just once—let’s call it the “limited edition” approach to postseason play. His right knee, meanwhile, has been more consistent than his game-time appearances.

In 2021, that sneaky knee of his decided to tear its own ACL, leading to a dramatic exit from the season and a year on the “Will He or Won’t He?” special. In a plot twist worthy of a Hollywood blockbuster, 2023 saw him miss three crucial games as the Clippers bowed out against the Phoenix Suns—gracing us with more injury-related suspense.

Just to add to the comic relief, Los Angeles decided to renew Leonard’s subscription to “Knee Rehab” via a three-year, $153 million extension back in January. And for the first time since he donned a Clippers jersey, he’ll have to bravely navigate the season without his trusty sidekick Paul George—who recently decided to sign with the Philadelphia 76ers, proving that sometimes, friendships just aren’t worth the knee pain.

The Clippers will tip off their regular season on Oct. 23 against the Suns, just in time for Kawhi to make an astonishing comeback from… well, you get the gist.


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