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In a riveting display of incompetence that only someone well-versed in politics could muster, Peggy Judd, a Republican county supervisor in Arizona, has officially joined the club of misplaced election certifiers. After attempting to play a game of “I swear I’ll get to it” with the 2022 midterm election results, she has pleaded guilty to the serious crime of “not doing her job”—an egregious misdemeanor that could have been an Olympic sport if only we could find an official to supervise it.
According to Arizona Attorney General Kris Mayes, who must be somewhere between amused and exasperated at the circus act unfolding in his state, Judd will be sentenced to a whopping 90 days of unsupervised probation. That’s right—an entire three months of freedom for failing to carry out her election duties, along with a fine that would barely cover a few rounds of drinks at the local dive bar. Cheers to civic responsibility!
Mayes, channeling every bit of a high school principal about to hand out detention slips, stated, “Any attempt to interfere with elections in Arizona will not be tolerated.” Right, because nothing screams ‘restored democracy’ like a slap on the wrist and a stern talking-to.
In a plot twist that could only belong in a political dark comedy, Judd was part of a two-person conspiracy troupe alongside her fellow Cochise County supervisor, Tom Crosby. Their mission? Delay the certification of election results using the same logic that suggests rewriting a school paper after failing the class. Initially charged with felonies—yes, those sharp and shiny ones that could land them in jail for six months to two and a half years—the duo seemed convinced that hand-counting ballots was a viable solution to a problem that exists only in the land of conspiracy theories.
Let’s not forget Judd’s enthusiastic participation in the infamous “Stop the Steal” rally, where she didn’t just spectate but went full-on cheerleader for the cause. In an interview, she fervently denied entering the Capitol with the rioters, which is almost admirable—if only the rest of her political career didn’t reek of anxious concoctions of denial and delusion.
So, as the saga unfolds in the land of the cactus and the misguided, we’re reminded once again that the political theater is alive and kicking—even if the actors can’t seem to remember their lines or the plot. Welcome to Arizona, folks, where the electoral process sometimes feels like a twisted game of charades, and the only winners are those savvy enough to turn a blind eye while cashing in on their fifteen minutes of infamy.
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