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In a stunning twist of irony, excavations at the Amida Mound in Diyarbakır – a site that’s been playing hide and seek with civilization for a mere 10,000 years – have revealed yet another episode in humanity’s timeless saga of burning down their own houses. Yes, it turns out our ancestors were not just cavemen with bad temper; they were also real estate enthusiasts who clearly preferred building something only to toast it a few centuries later.

“They say ‘home is where the heart is,’” mused Professor İrfan Yıldız, “But in Amida, it seems home is where the burnt ruins are.” Apparently, this beloved locale has been chargrilled not once but thrice between 7,000 and 5,000 B.C. Who knew fire was the original neighborhood watch? “Oh, your hut is lovely, but did you consider a more… flammable option?”

The site, which greets you with an impressive résumé of civilizations that included the Assyrians, Persians, and Ottomans – a typical case of “everyone’s invited, but nobody stays” – has certainly seen its fair share of cultural shifts. Underneath the ashes of past homes, archaeologists are rummaging through an old treasure chest that includes 1,800-year-old water channels and 782 World War I grenades. Because when you’re digging through thousand-year-old history, you might as well unearth things that could put an explosion in your tour guide narrative!

As they sift through ancient debris marked by burn scars, researchers have confirmed that initial settlement began a staggering 10,000 years ago. But apparently, those bustling beginnings were quickly followed by fire safety lessons learned the hard way. “Look, if at first you don’t burn—uh, learn,” is likely the motto for Amida’s inhabitants. Maybe they were just trying to cook dinner?

And let’s not overlook the continual life at Amida Mound, which has somehow become the poster child for commitment-phobes: “Ten-thousand years without a break? Sounds like the relationship everyone should avoid.” From obsidian tools to 8000 B.C. ceramic shards – each layer tells a tale of resilience baked (or burnt) into the very foundations of the land.

But while Yıldız regails us with past dates, one can’t help but wonder if the calendar of destruction was the true measure of civilization’s progress here. Of course, Jericho may hold the title of the oldest city still standing, but hey, Amida’s got a fiery legacy that no one can extinguish. Maybe the key to their eternal life lies in property management tips like “don’t build next to a volcano.”

In conclusion, the excavation at Amida Mound isn’t just about tracing humanity’s footprint; it’s also an extensive lesson in how to be a terribly reckless homeowner. So the next time you think about your housing situation—remember, at least you’re not part of a 10,000-year cycle of destruction!

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