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In a dazzling display of political acrobatics more befitting a circus than a campaign, Donald Trump took his show on the road, not to fix North Carolina’s hurricane woes, but to revel in them like a kid in a candy store—if the candy were made of waterlogged homes and blown-away roofs. Meanwhile, Vice President Kamala Harris decided to pull a plot twist worthy of a soap opera by hitting the campaign trail with Liz Cheney in Pennsylvania. You know, just your everyday dose of political strangeness, like putting pickles on a cupcake because, why not?

It’s as if they’re both stuck in a reality show where the prize is the ability to use taxpayers’ money for an even bigger blowout next season. Who needs actual governance when you can play a game of “Pick Your Odd Political Partner” while pretending to care about constituents? Don’t worry, folks—the invoice for your emotional rollercoaster is already in the mail! And remember, in this twisted carnival of democracy, the only thing more inflated than the candidates’ egos is the mounting hurricane cleanup bill that nobody seems to want to pay for.

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