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In a plot twist that could only unfold in the land of the free and home of the absurd, Rep. Jamie Raskin, the chief alarmist on the House Oversight Committee, is waving his metaphorical flags because former President Donald Trump seems to have misplaced the memo on presidential transitions. It’s like expecting a kid to show up for school on picture day while he’s busy playing hide-and-seek with the school bus.

Raskin’s latest letter to Trump and his running mate — you know, the guy who seems like he was picked in a game of political bingo, Sen. JD Vance — is a delightful mix of governmental etiquette and a dash of panic. Apparently, by not signing a few documents that every other presidential candidate has treated like a Netflix subscription renewal, Trump and Vance are putting the nation’s safety at risk. And here we thought the biggest danger was choosing which avocado toast to Instagram.

According to Raskin, Trump’s flouting of tradition shows a “spectacular disregard” for democracy, while here we thought he was just practicing for a career in circus clowning. His theory? Trump is secretly trying to dodge fundraising rules and keep his hands clean, just like a toddler trying to sneak a cookie but getting caught with crumbs all over his face.

For the record, VP Kamala Harris has already played by the rules and entered her agreements earlier than your average person manages to satisfy their online shopping cart — while Trump’s campaign is still trying to remember their password to access the government resources that provide office space, staff, and even national security info. Spoiler: Harris didn’t just read “How to Transition Like a Pro” before bedtime; she’s been speeding towards a dignified handoff like it’s the Indy 500.

And let’s not overlook the ominous warning from Raskin about potential vulnerabilities that arise because Trump and Co. are on a deadline extension that’s less “school science fair” and more “impending doom.” He seems to think if the new president isn’t ready to run the country on day one, our enemies might throw a surprise BBQ in the Oval Office and take over the Wi-Fi.

Trump’s refusal to sign off on the agreements also conveniently sidelines those pesky limitations on private donations and ethics rules — because who likes rules anyway? It’s like inviting a toddler to a birthday party and asking them not to touch the cake!

As for Trump’s delightful comments about the “peaceful transfer” of power, he’s been on a nostalgia trip about his departure from D.C. to Florida as if it were the happiest of vacations rather than an evacuation circus. Remember the Capitol riot of January 6, 2021? He lovingly dubbed it a day of “love and peace,” which is probably the kindest euphemism since someone called a dumpster fire a “warm ambiance.”

So, as the political circus continues to unfold, grab your popcorn and enjoy the show because it’s clearly going to be a wild ride — and as always, the clowns are in charge!

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