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In what can only be described as the ultimate political roast, former President Donald Trump took to the stage in Latrobe, Pennsylvania, to deliver a performance fit for the Comedy Hall of Fame. He kicked things off by labeling Kamala Harris a “s— vice president”—a statement that, while lacking in eloquence, certainly hit the mark for its originality. After all, why rely on traditional rhetoric when you can opt for a swear-word sandwich?

Amidst cheers that likely left the crowd feeling flush with pride, Trump bumped up the drama with a line straight out of his reality TV playbook: “Kamala, you’re fired!” The irony, of course, being that he’s not the boss anymore. But who wouldn’t want to blame the staff when the cake is burning?

Then, adding a unique flair to his attack, Trump took a ten-minute detour into the intimate life of late golfer Arnold Palmer, suggesting that the only thing more inflated than Palmer’s reputation was, shall we say, his equipment. Because what’s campaign rhetoric without an awkward anatomy lesson? “When he took showers with the other pros, they came out and said, ‘Oh, my God. That’s unbelievable,’” he quipped, as audience members frantically Googled “Did Arnold really?” in disbelief.

Meanwhile, Harris was busy sharpening her claws in Atlanta, calling Trump’s ramblings a delightful bit of “nonsense”—which, conveniently, is also how many feel whenever he opens his mouth. In a stunning turn of events, she asserted that Trump was “unstable,” which is rich coming from someone in a competition running to lead a nation where “stable” could be defined as not posting conspiracy theories at 3 a.m.

As both candidates square off, complete with Twitter jousts and verbal sparring, the battle for the presidential crown resembles less a civilized debate and more a circus act where the seals are throwing fish at each other. Trump’s attempts to undermine Harris by mocking her intellect with claims of “low IQ” are reminiscent of a high school bully’s last stand—hilarious yet profoundly sad.

And yet, the drama doesn’t end there! Trump’s recent personal attacks and dramatics, juxtaposed with Harris’ relentless quips about his apparent fatigue, suggest they both might need a solid nap before tackling the hard-hitting issues—or at least a nice cup of herbal tea. Because nothing says “presidential contender” like someone announcing they need a rest day from a campaign that has just begun.

So as they both hurl insults and engage in bouts of verbal gymnastics, we are left with two candidates fighting for the title of “Most Likely to Be Asked for Their Resignation at a Family Gathering.” The American people, however, are the true winners—celebrating the absurdity of their choices in a show that certainly isn’t winning any awards for seriousness, but might just clinch the top spot in “Best Comedy.”

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