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In a daring display of economic prowess that could only be rivaled by a toddler wielding a crayon in a bank vault, former President Trump took to the stage at a Chicago conference to unveil his latest master plan for American prosperity. Picture this: a golden podium, a crowd of over-enthusiastic fans resembling a cult revival meeting, and Trump delivering his economic agenda with all the seriousness of a game show host revealing a new car—except the car’s engine is missing, and it’s fueled by optimism and a generous dose of wishful thinking.
“Booming economy!” he declared, flashing a smile that could only be described as a cross between a used car salesman and a piñata that’s been left out in the rain. His strategy to bolster the economy? Well, let’s just say it heavily leaned on more tax cuts for the wealthy and a strong aversion to anything resembling a rational fiscal policy, because what’s more effective than sprinkling fairy dust on the stock market?
As he painted a glowing picture of job creation—with a brush he must have borrowed from a child’s art set—one couldn’t help but wonder if he was using the same set of facts he employed when assuring us he’d never launch a failed steak company. “We’re going to have so many jobs, you won’t even remember what unemployment looks like!” he exclaimed, a cryptic promise that left everyone wondering if he was hinting at jobs as elusive as Bigfoot.
Meanwhile, the audience cheered like they were at a rock concert, blissfully ignoring the fact that their applause was the only thing keeping the economic tide from dragging them under. And as the world looks on, one question lingers: are we living in a comedy or a tragedy? Spoiler alert: it’s both, and somehow, we’re all signed up for the front row seats to this farcical economic theater that’s both too absurd to believe and too real to escape.
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