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In a plot twist that even a soap opera villain would envy, a judge in Georgia has waged a heroic battle against a horde of questionable election rules unleashed by Donald Trump’s self-proclaimed loyalists. This latest chapter in our political circus showcases a judge who must’ve skipped straight from the gavel to a superhero cape—because who needs chaos when you can have order, right?

The judge, Thomas “Not Today” Cox, has declared these electoral shenanigans illegal, unconstitutional, and void, as if he’s casting a verdict on a particularly bad sci-fi film where the aliens are, shocker, human politicians. Notably, two rules have been sent packing: one requiring a “reasonable inquiry” into results before they can be certified, and another, a veritable treasure hunt, allowing officials to rummage through all election-related documents—a real-life metaphor for politicians’ knack for bending the truth.

Now, let’s talk turkey—or, in this case, electoral votes. Georgia’s sweet sixteen electoral votes are about as crucial as the final season of a beloved TV show that decides to kill off its main character. Joe Biden squeaked through this sentimental political battlefield in 2020 by just over 10,000 votes—almost like he found the last slice of pizza at a party.

Early voting in the Peach State has kicked off with turf wars, oops, I mean record turnouts. Three GOP election board members, beneficiaries of some backhanded Trump praise, now find themselves the stars of this bizarre drama after Trump sang their praises at a rally, calling them “pit bulls” for transparency. We can only assume he means they’ll be sniffing out the truth like a hound on a scent, and not barking mad at every shadow.

Meanwhile, confusion reigns supreme over what exactly constitutes a “reasonable inquiry.” Imagine a bunch of political wolves trying to figure out which sheep to eat while claiming to promote democracy. The inquiry rule adds additional steps to certification, turning the voting process into a bureaucratic dance—a two-step that nobody asked to learn.

Cox, in a stroke of wisdom reminiscent of a sitcom character’s “Eureka!” moment, has decreed that the attempted mandate to hand-count ballots is about as feasible as herding cats in a thunderstorm. Claiming Georgia law supports no such thing, he joins the ranks of the few who can still see through the fog of political nonsense. But fear not! Another judge has hit “pause” on this hand-count mandate—because who doesn’t love a cliffhanger?

So here we are, in this twisted game of electoral poker, where the stakes are our democracy and the players are all-in on a wild gamble for power. If we weren’t witnessing it ourselves, we’d surely recommend it as a dark comedy series, just with less laugh track and a lot more irony. As we buckle in for another season of “Keeping Up with the Politicians,” let’s hope they keep it entertaining—or at least provide some popcorn-worthy moments.

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