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In a plot twist that even Hollywood would be envious of, True Value, your friendly neighborhood hardware store brand that’s been around for 75 years, has filed for bankruptcy. That’s right! They’ve decided to choose the financial equivalent of a dramatic exit over continuing their existential crisis in the black-and-decker jungle. Now they’re handing over the keys to rival Do it Best, in what can only be described as a real-life game of Monopoly gone wrong.
According to their press release—a term that must now mean “confession”—True Value reassured us that their 4,500 independently operated locations will still remain open for business during the bankruptcy process. So, don’t worry; your quest for that elusive wrench or perfectly mismatched screw can continue uninterrupted while they grapple with a more extensive cash crunch than a metaphorical lawnmower running out of gas in the middle of the summer.
Apparently, the housing market decided to take its ball and go home, which left True Value trying to sell hardware to a public increasingly picky about their discretionary purchases. Meanwhile, bigger rivals like Home Depot and Lowe’s have been riding the economic wave on a much sturdier raft—one that’s apparently outfitted with multiple flotation devices and a functioning GPS.
True Value’s bankruptcy woes echo those of other retail chains seeking solace in the comforting embrace of Chapter 11, such as Big Lots and LL Flooring. It turns out that in the heart-pounding, rollercoaster ride of retail, many are left wondering what happened to the good old days when bankruptcy was just for sad, dusty blockbusters and failed hoverboard businesses.
“After a thorough evaluation of strategic alternatives—read: panicking in meetings—we decided that selling our business was the best path forward to maximize value and try to satisfy our retail partners and other stakeholders who may still care,” declared True Value CEO Chris Kempa with all the enthusiasm of someone finally choosing a cable package after three months of consideration.
Enter Do it Best: a company that apparently takes its name as seriously as it takes its role as the new hope for True Value and independent hardware stores. CEO Dan Starr claims they have a “proven track record” of profitability. So who can blame them for wanting to rescue the floundering True Value while munching popcorn and savoring the sweet taste of acquisition?
With the ink still drying on the deal—and let’s hope it’s not from a low-quality pen—the transaction involving Do it Best is estimated to wrap up by the end of the year, assuming they don’t get distracted by a better offer, a rogue bid from a local DIY enthusiast, or if True Value decides to stage a spectacular comeback with its own reality show.
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