Four Governors Walk Into a Bar… and Try Not to Drink the Election Away!
VP Harris Wields Grocery Prices and Fascism in a Town Hall: ‘Choose Your Apocalypse Wisely!’
New York: Where Democrats and Republicans Fight Over Who Gets to Lose to New York City
House GOP Barking Up the Wrong Tree: Mace Threatens Subpoena, Claims Biden’s ‘Censorship’ is the Real Misinformation
Bezos Steals Spotlight: Post’s No-endorsement Decision Leaves Editorial Team in Shock Like Finding Out Amazon Prime Doesn’t Include Free Returns!
Nation’s Future: Choose Your Own Adventure—Now with More Plot Twists!
Kamala Harris Attempts Bipartisanship While Trump Plays Hide and Seek: U.S. Politics Enters ‘Find the Leader’ Season
Union Workers Distribute Ballots as Wisconsinites Wonder if Their Memories Are as Short as Their Attention Spans
Delta Sues CrowdStrike: When Your Cybersecurity Update Becomes a Flight Cancellation Special!
Bezos Steals Spotlight: Post’s No-endorsement Decision Leaves Editorial Team in Shock Like Finding Out Amazon Prime Doesn’t Include Free Returns!
David Einhorn Pedals Toward Profit: Can Peloton Spin Its Way From $6 to $31 on a Budget?
Coffee Chains Brew Cultural Capital: From Sipping to Socializing, Yemen’s Buzz Hits Wall Street!
Spirit Airlines Soars as It Sells the Skies and Cuts the Crew, Proving Less Really is More!
McDonald’s Shares Take a ‘Quarter Pounder’ Plunge After CDC Weighs In on Beefy E. coli Drama
Georgia Gets a Lottery Glow-Up: $478.2 Million Jackpot Turns Quick Mart into Cash Cow!
McDonald’s Sales Take a Sour Turn: E. Coli Outbreak Leaves Diners Flipping for Safety
WWE Faces the Ultimate Tag Team: Lawsuits and Unwanted Attention in a Ring of Scandal
CDC Recommends Pneumonia Vaccine for 50s—Because Who Needs a Healthy Retirement Anyway?
From Champion to Tragedy: South Florida’s New Season Kicks Off with a Heart-Wrenching Overtime
Bird Flu: The Only Flu That Makes You Wonder Who’s Really Flying the Coop
Online Gambling: Because Who Needs Jobs and Relationships When You Can Bet Your Life Away?
Ohtani’s 50th Home Run: Because Why Shouldn’t a Baseball Cost More Than Your House?
Onions Go on the Lam: Fast Food Chains Flee from E. Coli-Drenched Toppings
WNBA Finals: Where Basketball is Finally More Popular Than Watching Paint Dry on NFL’s Sunday Night
Nepotism Dribbles Into the NBA: Bronny James Follows Dad’s Footsteps, Breathlessly Catches Up Post-Cardiac Arrest
McDonald’s Aces New Health Trend: E. Coli Burgers Spark Nation-wide Diet Revolution!
E. Coli Outbreak: McDonald’s Introduces the “Quarter Pounder with a Side of Regret”
[ad_1] In a shocking turn of events that could only happen in the land of golden arches,…
Interest Rates Fall, Consumer Sentiment Soars—Turns Out Optimism Isn’t a Credit Card!
[ad_1] Well, it seems like Americans are feeling a bit more chipper about our economic circus, all…
Striking Machinists Bench 44,000 Jobs, Perfect Timing for the Halloween Job Scare
[ad_1] Striking workers have decided that the best way to leave a mark on the October jobs…
Election Certification: Where Democracy Plays Hide and Seek with Chaos—Loser Gets ‘Contested’!
[ad_1] In a twist that could only be orchestrated by a band of circus clowns wearing suits,…
Kids Coughing Up a Storm: Just Another Day of “Walking Pneumonia” Gone Wild!
[ad_1] Attention, parents! If your child has been coughing up a storm for weeks, there’s a chance…
China’s Parliament Prepares to Stimulate the Economy: Brace for More Budget Magic—Now You See It, Now You Don’t!
[ad_1] BEIJING — Hold onto your yuan, folks! The bisected marathon known as China’s National People’s Congress…
Fernandomania Takes Final Bow: Dodgers to Honor Legend in World Series—Right After the Last Pitch of His Life
[ad_1] LOS ANGELES — In a twist that even baseball could not have scripted, the beloved Fernando…
Nun Your Business: Republican Canvasser Discovers 53 ‘Voters’ Who Actually Just Want to Pray for Political Sanity!
[ad_1] Erie, Pennsylvania — CNN A Republican canvasser in Pennsylvania recently found what he thought was irrefutable…
Pennsylvania Elections: Where Your Vote Could Be a Coffee-Stained Crayon Masterpiece!
[ad_1] In Pennsylvania, it seems even ballots struggle to survive the election season. With the grace of…
AI Meets Its Match: Women Discuss How a Male-Dominated Tech World Can Empower Them While Reinforcing Gender Bias
[ad_1] Ah, the 6th International Women and Justice Summit, where the paradoxical mix of empowerment and irony…
