Four Governors Walk Into a Bar… and Try Not to Drink the Election Away!
VP Harris Wields Grocery Prices and Fascism in a Town Hall: ‘Choose Your Apocalypse Wisely!’
New York: Where Democrats and Republicans Fight Over Who Gets to Lose to New York City
House GOP Barking Up the Wrong Tree: Mace Threatens Subpoena, Claims Biden’s ‘Censorship’ is the Real Misinformation
Bezos Steals Spotlight: Post’s No-endorsement Decision Leaves Editorial Team in Shock Like Finding Out Amazon Prime Doesn’t Include Free Returns!
Nation’s Future: Choose Your Own Adventure—Now with More Plot Twists!
Kamala Harris Attempts Bipartisanship While Trump Plays Hide and Seek: U.S. Politics Enters ‘Find the Leader’ Season
Union Workers Distribute Ballots as Wisconsinites Wonder if Their Memories Are as Short as Their Attention Spans
Delta Sues CrowdStrike: When Your Cybersecurity Update Becomes a Flight Cancellation Special!
Bezos Steals Spotlight: Post’s No-endorsement Decision Leaves Editorial Team in Shock Like Finding Out Amazon Prime Doesn’t Include Free Returns!
David Einhorn Pedals Toward Profit: Can Peloton Spin Its Way From $6 to $31 on a Budget?
Coffee Chains Brew Cultural Capital: From Sipping to Socializing, Yemen’s Buzz Hits Wall Street!
Spirit Airlines Soars as It Sells the Skies and Cuts the Crew, Proving Less Really is More!
McDonald’s Shares Take a ‘Quarter Pounder’ Plunge After CDC Weighs In on Beefy E. coli Drama
Georgia Gets a Lottery Glow-Up: $478.2 Million Jackpot Turns Quick Mart into Cash Cow!
McDonald’s Sales Take a Sour Turn: E. Coli Outbreak Leaves Diners Flipping for Safety
WWE Faces the Ultimate Tag Team: Lawsuits and Unwanted Attention in a Ring of Scandal
CDC Recommends Pneumonia Vaccine for 50s—Because Who Needs a Healthy Retirement Anyway?
From Champion to Tragedy: South Florida’s New Season Kicks Off with a Heart-Wrenching Overtime
Bird Flu: The Only Flu That Makes You Wonder Who’s Really Flying the Coop
Online Gambling: Because Who Needs Jobs and Relationships When You Can Bet Your Life Away?
Ohtani’s 50th Home Run: Because Why Shouldn’t a Baseball Cost More Than Your House?
Onions Go on the Lam: Fast Food Chains Flee from E. Coli-Drenched Toppings
WNBA Finals: Where Basketball is Finally More Popular Than Watching Paint Dry on NFL’s Sunday Night
Nepotism Dribbles Into the NBA: Bronny James Follows Dad’s Footsteps, Breathlessly Catches Up Post-Cardiac Arrest
McDonald’s Aces New Health Trend: E. Coli Burgers Spark Nation-wide Diet Revolution!
WWE Faces the Ultimate Tag Team: Lawsuits and Unwanted Attention in a Ring of Scandal
[ad_1] Grab your popcorn, folks! We might be witnessing the ultimate plot twist in the wrestling ring…
Election Showdown: Kamala and Trump Play ‘Who Can Yell the Foulest’ as America Wonders if It’s a Democracy or a Reality Show Reboot
[ad_1] Welcome to the freak show we call American politics, where clowns parade around the battleground states…
Nepotism Dribbles Into the NBA: Bronny James Follows Dad’s Footsteps, Breathlessly Catches Up Post-Cardiac Arrest
[ad_1] LOS ANGELES — Gary Payton II called the moment “crazy,” which might be the understatement of…
Elon Musk Gives $1 Million Voter Prizes, Just in Case the Justice Department Didn’t Notice the Illegal Raffle
[ad_1] Elon Musk has decided to spice up democracy in America by tossing around a couple of…
Pittsburgh Police Chief Retires to Referee Jacuzzis After Blowout Tougher Than a Technical Foul
[ad_1] PITTSBURGH (AP) — In a plot twist worthy of a sitcom, Pittsburgh’s police chief, Larry Scirotto,…
Sir Keir Defines ‘Working Person’—Still No Definition for ‘Taxpayer’
[ad_1] As the British public braces for next week’s budget, we find ourselves pondering the same age-old…
Protests Break Out Worldwide as People Remind Each Other that Peace is Just a Suggestion at This Point
[ad_1] In a world where sympathy and indignation host annual ceremonies, this year’s festivities kicked off across…
Spy Ring Arrests: When Accusations Make Every Post-Soviet Immigrant a Suspect, Even the Ones Fighting for Israel
[ad_1] The latest soap opera in the Israeli wilderness features a cast of characters straight out of…
Trump Declares America the World’s Garbage Can: ‘At Least We’re Full of Immigrants, Not Trash!’
[ad_1] In a grand performance of political theater, former President Trump took to the stage in Tempe,…
Quarter Pounder Chaos: Fast Food, Faster Lawsuits, and a Side of E. coli
[ad_1] In a stunning turn of events befitting a McDonald’s horror flick, a Colorado man has decided…
