Four Governors Walk Into a Bar… and Try Not to Drink the Election Away!
VP Harris Wields Grocery Prices and Fascism in a Town Hall: ‘Choose Your Apocalypse Wisely!’
New York: Where Democrats and Republicans Fight Over Who Gets to Lose to New York City
House GOP Barking Up the Wrong Tree: Mace Threatens Subpoena, Claims Biden’s ‘Censorship’ is the Real Misinformation
Bezos Steals Spotlight: Post’s No-endorsement Decision Leaves Editorial Team in Shock Like Finding Out Amazon Prime Doesn’t Include Free Returns!
Nation’s Future: Choose Your Own Adventure—Now with More Plot Twists!
Kamala Harris Attempts Bipartisanship While Trump Plays Hide and Seek: U.S. Politics Enters ‘Find the Leader’ Season
Union Workers Distribute Ballots as Wisconsinites Wonder if Their Memories Are as Short as Their Attention Spans
Delta Sues CrowdStrike: When Your Cybersecurity Update Becomes a Flight Cancellation Special!
Bezos Steals Spotlight: Post’s No-endorsement Decision Leaves Editorial Team in Shock Like Finding Out Amazon Prime Doesn’t Include Free Returns!
David Einhorn Pedals Toward Profit: Can Peloton Spin Its Way From $6 to $31 on a Budget?
Coffee Chains Brew Cultural Capital: From Sipping to Socializing, Yemen’s Buzz Hits Wall Street!
Spirit Airlines Soars as It Sells the Skies and Cuts the Crew, Proving Less Really is More!
McDonald’s Shares Take a ‘Quarter Pounder’ Plunge After CDC Weighs In on Beefy E. coli Drama
Georgia Gets a Lottery Glow-Up: $478.2 Million Jackpot Turns Quick Mart into Cash Cow!
McDonald’s Sales Take a Sour Turn: E. Coli Outbreak Leaves Diners Flipping for Safety
WWE Faces the Ultimate Tag Team: Lawsuits and Unwanted Attention in a Ring of Scandal
CDC Recommends Pneumonia Vaccine for 50s—Because Who Needs a Healthy Retirement Anyway?
From Champion to Tragedy: South Florida’s New Season Kicks Off with a Heart-Wrenching Overtime
Bird Flu: The Only Flu That Makes You Wonder Who’s Really Flying the Coop
Online Gambling: Because Who Needs Jobs and Relationships When You Can Bet Your Life Away?
Ohtani’s 50th Home Run: Because Why Shouldn’t a Baseball Cost More Than Your House?
Onions Go on the Lam: Fast Food Chains Flee from E. Coli-Drenched Toppings
WNBA Finals: Where Basketball is Finally More Popular Than Watching Paint Dry on NFL’s Sunday Night
Nepotism Dribbles Into the NBA: Bronny James Follows Dad’s Footsteps, Breathlessly Catches Up Post-Cardiac Arrest
McDonald’s Aces New Health Trend: E. Coli Burgers Spark Nation-wide Diet Revolution!
Clocks Fall Back, Crashes Accelerate: Welcome to British Autumn, Where Dazzling Sun is the New Road Hazard!
[ad_1] As the clock strikes back this Sunday, the UK’s favorite pastime of crashing into one another…
Police Commissioner Executes Swift Removal of Legal Adviser, Claims Ignorance is Legal Advice.
[ad_1] In the latest episode of “Who Needs Procedure Anyway?”, we have the illustrious Israel Police Commissioner…
Democrats Realize California and New York Aren’t Just for Film Premieres — Welcome to Democracy’s New Home Improvement Project!
[ad_1] In a plot twist worthy of a poorly scripted political drama, the nation’s largest gang of…
Trump vs. CBS: A Legal Tango Over Editing That’s Anything But Prime Time!
[ad_1] In a masterclass of corporate sass, CBS News has decided to take a firm stance against…
Election Anxiety: Small Businesses Play Economic Tug-of-War, Betting on Political Outcomes Instead of Game Plans
[ad_1] This year’s presidential race has more twists and turns than a rollercoaster built by a toddler…
Public Figures Urge Voter Registration as Deadline Approaches: Because Nothing Says Democracy Like a Last-Minute Panic!
[ad_1] As the clock ticks down to the voter registration deadline, public figures have donned their superhero…
Trump’s Transition Plan: It’s Just a Suggestion, Like Wearing Pants to a Job Interview!
[ad_1] In a shocking twist that can only be described as performance art at this point, former…
Georgia’s Tax Refunds: Because Nothing Says “I Care” Like Buying Votes With Your Own Money!
[ad_1] ATLANTA (AP) — In a dazzling display of fiscal acrobatics, Georgia’s Gov. Brian Kemp and the…
Mother of Teen Killer Claims Son’s Great Morals Were Just Misguided Stabbing Techniques
[ad_1] In a twist that seems pulled straight from the absurd annals of a dark comedy, the…
IDF Chief Screams at Badge, Sparks Outrage: “Sorry, We Thought We Were in a Superhero Movie!”
[ad_1] In an alternate universe where the IDF spokesperson moonlights as a drama queen, R.-Adm. Daniel Hagari…
