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In an event so historic that even your grandma, who thinks baseball is a bat-and-ball-related sitcom, would take notice, Shohei Ohtani blasted his Target=”_blank”>50th home run of the season this Wednesday. And guess what? He also managed to steal 50 bases, proving that he’s not just a baseball star; he’s half baseball, half kleptomaniac. The ball itself—yes, the one that Ohtani used to achieve this jaw-dropping feat—was auctioned off for more than $4.3 million, ensuring that the fan who caught it will definitely never need to work again, unless they now decide to invest in crypto.

Ohtani, the Los Angeles Dodgers’ unicorn (because seriously, how does he exist?), became the first player to achieve the 50/50 milestone right in the middle of September. Experts now have to rewrite their dictionaries because ‘greatest achievement in baseball history’ just got a serious facelift. This new milestone makes your fantasy baseball team look like the kindergarten finger-painting it really is.

A staggering 40 bids came flying in from every corner of the globe, with the winning bid clocking in at 12:26 a.m. ET, right around the time when rational humans question all their life decisions. According to the New Jersey auction house Goldin, this ball is now so famous it could probably win a Grammy. Ken Goldin, the CEO, waxed poetic, “This legendary piece of sports memorabilia has made history again.” I can only assume he’s referring to the ball’s aspiring career as a motivational speaker.

Ohtani, 30 and doing more with his baseball career than most of us can achieve in a lifetime, rolled into the game against the Florida Marlins sporting 48 home runs and 49 stolen bases—obviously only one base away from becoming the first player to be banned from every major league for running away with a 50-base treasure. In a seventh-inning showdown, with a 1-2 pitch from Marlins pitcher Mike Baumann, Ohtani decided to just hit a ball into the history books like he was playing a real-life version of ‘pin the tail on the donkey.’ He crushed three home runs that night—because one wasn’t enough for this overachiever. His 51st home run ball is reportedly Target=”_blank”>also available for sale, just in case you need the complete collection for your sports shrine.

Naturally, attention quickly pivoted to the ever-important fate of the ball, with collectors—who just so happen to resemble hobbyists on steroids—salivating at the chance to own a piece of history. The fan decided to go all ‘Antiques Roadshow’ and partnered with Goldin to auction it off, and with an opening bid set at $500,000, there was also a cheeky offer to buy it outright for $4.5 million. Because we all know that in sports, just like in life, any chance to overpay is just too stylish to pass up.

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