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Ah, the joys of youth: fresh-faced drivers zooming around the British countryside, chasing the thrill of independence while pushing their luck and possibly their friends straight into the nearest ditch. The AA’s latest genius idea? New drivers under 21 should undergo a social exile, banning them from carrying anyone else remotely their age for at least six months. Because what better way to celebrate your freedom than being shunned from your peer group like a pariah on wheels?

Imagine the new “G” plates plastered on the backs of cars, proudly proclaiming to the world that the driver behind the wheel is a greenhorn. So, if you’re an unsuspecting parent, watching your 18-year-old create a makeshift carpool with their equally inexperienced friends, fear not! Just look for the shiny ‘G’—it stands for ‘Gosh, how did we let them drive?’

This plan, apparently birthed after the sad deaths of four teenagers in a tragic accident, is just one step towards a much larger misconception—it’s almost as if they think banning youth from companionship in vehicles will magically turn them into seasoned chauffeurs. As if socializing in vehicles during a big night out isn’t the primary motivator for entering adulthood!

Meanwhile, the Department for Transport has tossed this sensible idea into the bin, opting instead for rudimentary safety measures that scream “We care, but not that much.” They are considering “other measures” to protect young drivers—what, like extra safety cones and some upbeat music to distract them from the very real threat of a steering wheel?

Statistics say more than 290 lives were lost last year involving drivers aged 17-24—proof that perhaps young people and vehicles are a volatile cocktail, best served shaken and with zero passengers. So, let’s keep enforcing these archaic laws while we wait for the next generation of drivers to inevitably turn themselves into road comedians.

In the grand tradition of solving complex problems with simplistic band-aids, let’s give a round of applause to a system that acknowledges the incompetence of its youth while doing little to curb the madness. Cheers to ‘freedom of the road,’ as it careens towards a cliff!

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