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In a magnificent display of collective bargaining prowess, over 2,000 unionized mental health workers in Southern California decided to take their talents to the picket line on Monday. Why? Because negotiating new labor agreements is apparently just as fun as a trip to the DMV—which is to say, not fun at all.
The National Union of Healthcare Workers (NUHW), representing a staggering 19,000 workers in California and Hawaii, decided to show their commitment to sanity by gathering outside Kaiser facilities in major cities like Los Angeles, San Diego, Anaheim, and Fontana. Their demands? Just a minor increase in salaries, a sprinkle of restored pensions, and a dash of more staff to help manage the chaos. No biggie.
The union reminisced about its prior 10-week strike in Northern California in 2022, which was about as successful as a celebrity detox diet—promising on the surface, yet filled with unexpected twists. Those earlier negotiations resulted in higher wages and improved conditions, preventing a staff turnover rate that made musical chairs look stable. Because nothing says “we care about mental health” quite like ensuring your employees aren’t sprinting for the exit.
“Unless we strike, our coworkers are going to keep leaving and our patients are going to keep struggling in an underfunded, understaffed system that doesn’t meet their needs,” lamented Josh Garcia, one of the brave souls trying to keep sanity alive at Kaiser in San Diego. The irony of a mental health system in distress is just too rich to ignore.
And speaking of irony, Kaiser, a non-profit giant in the healthcare biz, is legally required to provide mental health services even while their staff go on strike. Talk about a twisted sense of humor in the health sector, where irony is practically a medical condition.
Meanwhile, a spokesperson for Kaiser defended the company’s lethargic dialogue skills by throwing the phrase “slow-walking negotiations” into the mix. So it appears “negotiating with Kaiser” might soon be added to the list of things that take longer than a snail on a turtle’s back.
To make matters even more absurd, job growth for mental health professionals is expected to triple that of the average U.S. job. Apparently, all this heightened demand for mental healthcare is a sneaky way for capitalism to inflate salaries—without anyone actually solving the underlying crisis. Isn’t irony just delightful?
In a world where nine out of ten U.S. adults acknowledge we have a mental health crisis, it’s comforting to know that the path to sanity involves labor strikes, slow negotiations, and a healthy dose of irony. What could go wrong?
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