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In a touching tribute to the beloved institution that was Kmart, two nostalgic shoppers, Shahlise Cherry and her accomplice in thrift, Deborah Arnone, embarked on a quest this Wednesday. Their goal? To capture the fleeting memories of their youth in the shopping aisles of the last full-size Kmart on the continental U.S. mainland, located in the swanky enclave of Bridgehampton, New York, where the doors are set to close forever (and probably for the best) this Sunday.

Armed with unwarranted excitement for overpriced coffee makers and a fabulous collection of bowls—because who wouldn’t need 70% off tableware in the middle of an existential retail crisis?—Cherry and Arnone seemed to relish their hunt through the rapidly emptying shelves. It’s amazing what you can convince yourself to buy when the price tag basically screams, “this is definitely a deal, right?!”

“It’s just been, like, forever since I last stepped foot in here,” Cherry reminisced, awkwardly ignoring that Kmart had apparently been “out of the loop” for a while—like that friend who disappears for a few years to ‘find themselves’ and then resurfaces unexpectedly, sporting a questionable hairstyle.

And now, as Kmart takes its final bow alongside other retail legends like Toys “R” Us and RadioShack—who all met their fates at the hands of Amazon and more confounding market strategies—it’s almost poetic. In the grand saga of retail, Kmart has transformed into the retail Grim Reaper, consolidating all nostalgic buying experiences into a graveyard of insatiable e-commerce giants and a slew of bad mergers.

“I used to love this place as a kid,” lamented Cherry, as though Kmart were a long-lost childhood friend who ghosted her after high school. Now, it’s just a Shell of its former self, trailing a sad line of once-beloved retailers into the oblivion of online shopping cart-abandonment.

Yet, somehow, customers like Cherry and Arnone remain blissfully oblivious to the comedic irony that surrounds their shopping pilgrimage. With one more Kmart biting the dust, it’s left to the rest of America to contemplate the grim truth: once upon a time, retail was a sprawling kingdom ruled by blue light specials and aisles stocked with possibility. Now, only limited editions of nostalgia are left to reminisce about.

Standing in the shadow of a nearly empty store, Cherry expressed her disbelief, “This was our go-to when we were growing up.” A sad reminder that, for every Kmart operation shut down beneath the crushing weight of competition, an entire generation mourns the passing of the discount store formerly known as a second home.

Sadly, the future looks bleak with only one remaining Kmart left—decrepit and dwindling in a Miami neighborhood where even a glimmer of hope seems lost amid much smaller islands. Even the discerning eye of a hedge fund manager, focused more on auctioning store façades than stocking merchandise, couldn’t save this retail relic from imminent doom.

Their hearts heavy with the weight of consumerist nostalgia, Cherry and Arnone filled their carts, unwittingly channeling a bittersweet consumer battle cry: “Who needs Amazon when you have random clearance items?”

With its final chapter fast approaching, the Bridgehampton Kmart becomes a symbol of retail’s relentless metamorphosis—a dramatic finale in a David vs. Goliath saga where Goliath was actually very good at selling groceries and exclusive merch. As the lights dim and the “Going Out of Business” signs blink sadly in neon, shoppers are left pondering whether they’re purchasing a last-minute bargain or a ticket to the emotional roller coaster that is the decline of traditional retail.

“We need a store like this,” Arnone griped, desperately clinging onto the idea of affordable retail, “There’s nothing in the Hamptons for regular people to shop in.” Because why would the Hamptons—a land of sun, sea, and millionaire vacationers—begrudge the locals a bargain store? The irony doesn’t escape them.

And thus, as Bridgehampton’s Kmart prepares to close its doors for the last time, one can only imagine the echo of consumerist nostalgia reverberating through abandoned aisles. After all, in an era dominated by e-commerce giants who sell everything from lattes to luxury items, what’s genuinely valuable? Perhaps it’s the fond memories of discount buys and the unparalleled thrill of a blue light special—a truth we might carry in our not-so-empty shopping carts for years to come.

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