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In the delightful circus of international relations, we find Kamala Harris preparing to lead the U.S. into a shiny new era, where the thrill of potential progress mingles with the ever-present aroma of geopolitical lunacy. Wu, our astute weather vane of U.S.-China relations, opines that while things may still feel like a high-stakes game of Twister during the Harris presidency, there’s a chance it could be less chaotic than the bizarre acrobatics of the Trump–Biden years. Bravo!
Kamala may not have ever sniffed the air in China, but she’s definitely hit the road in Asia like a perpetual tourist. After all, nothing says “I’m ready for diplomacy” quite like a Vice Presidential junket to the Philippines, where she assured everyone that Uncle Sam has your back against the big, mean Chinese bully lurking in the South China Sea playground. How noble!
Now, let’s take a moment to appreciate that on her one and only face-to-face with Xi Jinping in 2022—a summit that surely gave him chills—Harris exchanged charming pleasantries like diplomats do at awkward family gatherings. It’s a wonder they didn’t exchange business cards or Instagram handles.
Oh, and let’s not forget her past as a senator, where she cheerfully lent her name to the Uyghur Human Rights Policy Act, computed in the fine print as “two thumbs up for democracy while wearing a sympathetic frown.” The cherry on top? Trump—yes that Trump—happily signed it into existence, proving that even stopped clocks can tell the time… occasionally.
According to her campaign spokesperson, Harris has a crystal-clear vision of the formidable challenges posed by China. In her quest to “win” the 21st-century competition (whatever that means), one cannot help but ponder: Who will fill the throne of wisdom in the Harris administration when it comes to China? The suspense is palpable!
Meanwhile, the Trump campaign—ever diligent in their silence—remains tight-lipped about their next moves as they continue to bask in their least favorite pastime: Chinese social media. Here, their supporters frolic through the comments, praising Trump’s admirable authoritarian tendencies and the sheer boldness of his “anti-woke” wizardry. Who knew it was possible to be both outraged and enamored at the same time?
Kaiser Kuo of the Sinica Podcast reminds us that some find joy in Trump’s apparent goal of irritating allies while wearing the “America First” badge. But on the flip side, if it lowers the U.S.’s standing in global esteem, doesn’t that just make China giggle with glee? A real win-win if there ever was one!
And let’s not overlook the delightfully ironic translation of Trump’s name in Chinese: Chuan Jianguo—“Trump Builds the Nation.” Is there a subtle hint of sarcasm there? Let’s just say, the building might be happening over in Beijing, and the foundation looks rather solid.
And while critics might wring their hands over the notion that U.S.-China relations are a zero-sum game, Jia reminds us with a wry grin that “What’s bad for the U.S. is not necessarily good for China.” A revamp of fortune cookies could be on the horizon!
As we meander through the political playground, the one person with the most Chinese experience in the Democratic camp is Tim Walz, like that one kid at school who actually did his homework. This chap spent a year in China and runs summer tours for high school students—because who wouldn’t want to introduce young Americans to a nation notorious for its perspective on democracy? Progressives, take note!
Walz, the Indiana Jones of Chinese affairs, argues he has a grasp on China that surpasses the likes of Trump. After all, studying a nation and calling Xi Jinping a friend is about as meaningful as a toddler labeling a crayon box.
In this fantastical chess game of world politics, we’re left with Walz’s keen recognition that Xi isn’t exactly someone one should look to for inspiration—particularly given Trump’s misplaced admiration of the man’s handling of a little thing called Covid.
So here’s to the circus act that awaits, where the balance of power is less about serious negotiations and more about slapstick routines on the global stage. Buckle up, folks; it’s going to be a wild ride!
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