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Get ready, because Vice President Kamala Harris is launching her latest charm offensive dubbed “Souls to the Polls,” an event designed to energize Black churchgoers as if they were the last players in a game of political musical chairs just weeks before the election. Because nothing says democracy quite like a last-minute scramble for votes after a long hiatus, right?

With the clock ticking down to Election Day—30 days and counting—Harris is putting on her best missionary hat and visiting Black churches in battleground states. It’s like a holy road trip, complete with a divine advisory board that includes 10 of her closest faith leaders, among them her pastor, Dr. Amos C. Brown III—who presumably will also be checking her soul’s Wi-Fi signal during these sacred gatherings.

In an absolutely unprecedented move, they’re serving up a gospel showcase, hoping that those heavenly tunes will drown out the cacophony of political apathy. Who needs policy discussions when you can have a committee of bishops on speed dial? These faith leaders, participating in their “personal capacity,” will probably be trying to explain why the Democrats are like that one friend who borrows money and never pays it back: always there in spirit, but not so much in practice.

During a previous appearance at the National Baptist Convention, where Harris recalled her musical past and illuminated the “ever-present tension between darkness and light”—a metaphor for her own political strategy, surely—she claimed she learned how essential faith was in times of confusion. Just like how voters need faith to believe everything will magically change if they vote for her.

By the way, speaking of confusion, during a particularly riveting round on ABC’s “The View,” Harris described seeking divine guidance and making a call to her pastor right after Biden‘s reelection bid went belly-up. Talk about timing—God and campaigns are both fickle creatures.

Meanwhile, over in the Orange-tinted corner, former President Donald Trump has been busy pandering to evangelicals, claiming that prayer is what saved him from assassination attempts and bad ratings. At his own religious jam sessions, he stands before his audience thanking the Almighty for a slight taste of humility—even if it’s just for the moment.

As Harris scrambles to keep the Black church aligned with the Democratic cause—a task that’s apparently looking more like a lost game of Monopoly where everyone just keeps landing on “Go to Jail”—the Republican side is rallying, astonishingly enough, with 29% of Black respondents in a recent poll saying they’d rather vote for Trump than Harris. That’s quite the leap from his dismal 12% in 2020. It’s enough to make her want to preach the gospel of “Please, anybody but him!”

Former President Barack Obama, during a campaign pitstop in Pittsburgh, seems to have thrown a bit of shade at the Black male electorate, blaming a lack of enthusiasm on “excuses.” He didn’t go as far as calling it a misogynistic plot but implied that maybe, just maybe, some folks just aren’t feeling the female candidate. It’s a whole new level of “this isn’t what I signed up for” when discussing voter sentiment.

So as Harris cranks up the spiritual tunes and Trump continues his crusade of free religious liberties, we find ourselves once again in a circus of chaos where faith meets folly on the grand stage of democracy. Welcome to the show!

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