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In a stunning move that combines a love of college parties with a dash of political pandering, Vice President Kamala Harris is debuting her “Vote for Our Future” tour, a charming blend of concerts, block parties, and an overzealous social media campaign that could make even the most apathetic students say, “Sure, why not?” Think of it as a frantic attempt to transform the college experience from binge-drinking and finals stress to thrilling electoral engagement — because nothing says “democracy” like a DJ dropping beats while politicians drop platitudes.

With an ad buy that makes the quality of a reality TV show seem like high art, the campaign is targeting young voters across all the right platforms like Instagram, Snapchat, and YouTube Shorts. In this great race for youth approval, we can expect ads that mirror viral trends, perhaps featuring Harris mastering the latest TikTok dance — because if you think history will remember your policies, dear VP, you’re probably out of touch… but hey, there’s always the moonwalk!

In a delightful show of nepotism, Rep. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez kicked off the tour at Penn State, probably because nothing screams “I care about the youth” quite like showing up to an event rather than actually engaging with the issues they care about. The event was seen as so vital that it was probably listed on the official calendar of “Don’t Ignore Us, We’re Important!” alongside the next Taylor Swift concert.

And while Harris dons her party hat, we have the esteemed second gentleman Doug Emhoff and the VP’s sister Maya Harris bringing the charisma to Durham, NC, because what could be more thrilling than relatives dragging their families into the political spotlight while absolutely no one is taking a break from their student loans? Meanwhile, Rep. Maxwell Frost and former Rep. Beto O’Rourke are apparently booked on college tours across the nation, performing their own brand of political karaoke — guaranteed to be just as awkward as it sounds.

As they fling flyers and posters across 76 college campuses like confetti at a bad wedding, Harris might have a point — after all, the youth have a unique ability to navigate chaos, whether it’s climate change or apps that let you order your avocado toast faster than you can say “voter registration.” Clearly, they’re a key demographic, particularly when they’re always one viral tweet away from resetting political allegiances, which is excellent news for her campaign.

Now, in a dazzling twist of irony, former President Donald Trump is also appealing to these ever-elusive young voters with podcast appearances—because nothing screams youthful engagement like discussing politics with a 77-year-old man who needs a walker to reach the podium. I mean, who wouldn’t want to be part of that discourse?

Meanwhile, Harris, who reminds us all that the youth saved America in 2020, is hoping they’ll come through yet again. “Let’s invest in them,” she said, as if Gen Z is just a group of stock options waiting to be cashed in. But really, her plans to give first-time homebuyers $25,000 for down payments might resonate—just as long as they can find a way to trade it for a small third of grandma’s basement.

As the Vice President ardently praises Gen Z for being politically savvy while simultaneously attempting to squeeze their enthusiasm with scheduled events and cash incentives, let’s all sit back and relish the absurdity. Like a tragicomic opera of our times, we’re witnessing the most enthusiastic voter engagement since, well, the last time someone felt threatened by a TikTok dance trend. Because when it comes to politics, if the future isn’t absurd enough, we can always do a little better at making it entertaining!

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