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In a jaw-dropping display of bipartisan buddy-buddy-ness, Vice President Kamala Harris and former Wyoming Republican Rep. Liz Cheney took their act to suburban battlegrounds like a political Odd Couple, making it abundantly clear that two wrongs might just be on the path to making a right—at least, in a dream where elephants and donkeys frolic hand-in-hand.
Monday’s event felt less like a campaign rally and more like a therapy session for Republicans suffering from a mid-term political crisis. Cheney, having strayed far from her party’s stable of disgruntled farm animals, assured GOP voters that it’s okay to vote their conscience—and just between us, she strongly hinted that a vote for Harris comes complete with a shiny conscience, straight from the Democratic showroom.
“If you’re worried about what your neighbor might think when your ballot says ‘Kamala,’ just remember,” Cheney smirked in Michigan, “you can tally your vote in utter silence—like a guilty pleasure episode of a reality show where the villain somehow becomes the hero.” Because nothing says “red state pride” quite like slipping a Democratic nominee onto the ballot like a covert anti-Donald Trump spy.
Meanwhile, the duo wasted no time contrasting the golden règne of Harris against the chaotic kingdom of Donald Trump, whom they painted as the high priest of instability—wielding threats like a toddler throwing a tantrum in the candy aisle. “Do we want a president plotting revenge like he’s in some soap opera, or one actually paying attention to the American people?” Harris mused, while half the audience took a moment to ponder which one, exactly, had already put “revenge” on the White House agenda.
Cheney, who recently got her wings clipped by the Republican Party for not blindly following Trump off the political cliff, stood as a beacon of enlightenment by slamming her fellow party members. “I understand why you might be scared to admit you like the other team,” she confided to a room of anxious Republicans, “but trust me—you should be more afraid of Trump than the very real threat of your neighbor finding out you prefer Nancy over the Orange buffoon.”
With two weeks until the big day, these events were cleverly designed to appeal to the dear white suburban ladies. Because who better to save democracy than a couple of women who could organize a bake sale and drop startling truth bombs about their party’s nominee in the same breath?
Yet, all’s well that ends well, and despite Cheney’s battle scars from GOP infighting, there she was, still wearing her “I heart democracy” T-shirt. “Every single thing in my experience has led me to support Harris,” she declared, somehow turning her decision into a Hallmark moment rather than a political death wish.
In the end, as Trump fumed on social media about the Cheney-Harris alliance leading the US into war with, let’s be honest, all the Muslims ever—maybe he forgot to mention his biggest enemy was quite possibly the ever-watchful eye of a disillusioned Republican electorate. But hey, nothing builds a solid campaign like a little bit of melodrama, don’t you think? Welcome to the circus!
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