[ad_1]
In what could only be described as the cosmic joke that just keeps on giving, Israel’s financial czar, Bezalel Smotrich, has taken to claiming that the economy is as ‘resilient’ as your grandma’s plaid couch—unfortunately getting sat on one too many times. With every tick of the clock, Israel’s credit rating resembles a game of limbo: how low can it go?
Speaking on September 28—just in time for an ammo lottery—Smotrich waxed poetic about the “strong economy” because what’s a little airstrike here and economic downturn there when you’ve got confidence, right? Spoiler: He really doesn’t answer the question of why investors should feel like putting their money into an armed camp playground.
Fast forward almost a year since Hamas threw a delightful surprise party on October 7, and Israel is playing “Ground Wars: Take Two.” The nation is juggling airstrikes in Gaza like a clown at a circus, just hoping none of the flaming torches catch fire to the tent—because we all know insurance doesn’t cover “oops, we declared war again.”
Karnit Flug, a former governor of Israel’s central bank (and probably the person who quietly supports your friend with an unsustainable Tinder habit), weighed in on the situation with the enthusiasm of a weatherman predicting a snowstorm in July. Warning bells were ringing like they do at a concert you didn’t want to go to—if things escalate, prepare your wallets for a lot less ‘cha-ching.’
Meanwhile, seemingly oblivious to the chaos unfolding, the UN reported that Gaza might be spiraling into a crisis worse than your neighbor’s barbecue after dark. But hey, at least they serve hummus at these community meetings, right? The West Bank? As exciting as watching paint dry, but, you guessed it, a lot worse in terms of economic uplift.
The crystal ball for Lebanon isn’t looking too rosy, with predictions of a 5% contraction—a fun yet sobering game where everyone’s the loser. And don’t worry, nobody’s winning any accolades in Israel either, with the Institute for National Security Studies dropping comparisons like “this could get uglier than your family Christmas.”
If you think it couldn’t get any worse, buckle up, because Smotrich has assured us that the economy will be “back to form” once the dust settles. Which dust? The one kicked up from the onslaught of financial analysts hoofing it to the nearest therapy session?
In the meantime, the Bank of Israel hasn’t even begun their cash-dispensing flex; it’s too busy keeping inflation from turning into a superhero that can’t be killed. Want to lower interest rates? Not this time; inflation currently has a stranglehold stronger than your uncle at Thanksgiving dinner when he’s sharing stories from the ‘good old days.’
Smotrich’s future predictions are as upbeat as a 12-year-old at a candy convention, but Flug suggests the economy might feel like a piñata that got a little too much whackin’ after it’s all said and done.
What’s really on the horizon? Tax hikes, potential military bloats, and a rapid exodus of those creative thinkers who’ve decided that no amount of sunshine can make a war-torn economy look good in comparison to a tech center in Menlo Park. Because no amount of ‘we’re fine’ can convince you to stick around in a place that feels like living inside a video game gone wrong.
Expecting any awash of tourists with a wallet full of shekels? Not when every travel site is charging a “chaos tax.” The Norman hotel in Tel Aviv, once a chic retreat, is now the scene of ‘give me a discount or give me death’ negotiations. With occupancy rates diving faster than a cat caught in a bathtub, you can bet lower prices and vacant rooms are the new normal.
So, until the dust clears, the local economy might just be the next tragic comedy stage. Make sure to grab your popcorn; you won’t want to miss this show.
Source
