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In a move that had us all wondering if she stumbled upon a fortune cookie containing the secrets to a better world, Vice President Harris has flung open the doors to a shiny new proposal designed specifically to empower black men. Yes, because if there’s one thing we know about systemic issues, it’s that throwing proposals at them is like using a paper towel to clean up a broken dam.
With all the excitement of a kid in a candy store — assuming the candy is filled with government bureaucracy — Harris announced her plan with the kind of enthusiasm you save for revealing a surprise party… for someone who isn’t coming. “We’ve listened to the concerns of the community,” she gushed, sounding like a concerned aunt promising to get you a gift card while actually just re-gifting that ugly sweater from last Christmas.
It’s almost as if the past decades of political promises had become a game show entitled “What Are We Promising This Time?” featuring the delightful twist of surprise conditions. Contestants must answer outrageously simple questions about equity while dodging funding cuts like a contestant on a game show obstacle course — except the obstacles are real life and the prize is just more paperwork.
As the pantheon of political action unfolds, the twist is that many black men are raising their eyebrows as high as the ceiling in the room where the proposals are being drafted. “You want to empower us? Great! Maybe let’s start with doing something crazy like, I don’t know, actually listening to us instead of throwing around some glittery language that gets lost in the void of promises.”
So, here’s to another round of empowering proposals — because nothing says “we care” quite like a PowerPoint presentation and a half-baked plan that leaves everyone scratching their heads. Who needs action when you can have words? After all, in politics, it’s all smoke and mirrors… and maybe some confetti to spice up the illusion!
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