Georgia Supreme Court Declares Election Rules “Illegal” Just in Time for a Year-End Family Reunion of Political Chaos

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ATLANTA (AP) — In a plot twist worthy of a political soap opera, the Georgia Supreme Court stepped in like a reluctant referee at a food fight, tossing aside a Republican request to revive their recently enacted election rules — the ones declared “illegal, unconstitutional, and void” by a judge who must have mistaken his courtroom for a civil rights rally. Apparently, the idea of having legitimate rules around democracy is just too mainstream for some folks in Georgia.

In a move that might only surprise those who still believe in the tooth fairy, the state’s Supreme Court unanimously said, "Nah, we’ll take our sweet time with this one," opting for the leisurely stroll through the judicial process instead of a fast track. So, pack your bags, folks; it looks like we’ll be camping out at the courthouse for a few more months while the elections triumphantly march forward — rules optional!

The rules themselves, which sound more like a set of instructions for a game nobody wants to play, included some gems like requiring three poll workers to count ballots by hand — you know, just in case you thought this election would be too efficient. And if you thought creating confusion right before an election was a no-go, think again! Because who doesn’t love a good voting debacle with their morning coffee?

Local election heroes, aka those brave enough to manage the chaos of polling stations, were less than thrilled about the changes being shoved down their throats with two weeks to go until the big day. But don’t worry, in true bipartisan spirit, the rules were supported by the state and national Republican parties because nothing says “transparency and accountability” like a heaping helping of confusion and vague definitions.

In a dramatic twist, the very organization leading the charge against the new rules is called Eternal Vigilance Action, which sounds like something out of a dystopian novel ironically penned by a committee of well-intentioned time travelers. Former Representative Scot Turner, the force behind this legal crusade, remarked that he was "glad for the election workers," who will spared the headache of wrestling with last-minute regulations. Maybe they can just stick to their original jobs — counting the number of times politicians promise change but deliver chaos.

Democrats are waving their victory flags, declaring this decision a victory for the "rule of law" and a significant check against an election denier plot. You know, the usual absurdity of American politics where the opposition party always seems to be plotting world domination — only they always seem to lose the scheming handbook somewhere along the way.

And in an ironic twist befitting a tragicomedy, Georgia Republican Party Chairman Josh McKoon deemed the objections to the new rules “unimaginably stupid,” while simultaneously ignoring the fact that these “guards of democracy” can’t seem to agree on which way is up — much less how many ballots are in a box.

All this drama makes for great television, but let’s face it: after a few more months of legal wrangling, we might as well put the election results on hold until the lawyers finish their coffee breaks. Because nothing screams "functional democracy" quite like everyone fighting over how to count votes while the clock ticks into oblivion.