From Abercrombie to Underbelly: Former CEO’s High Fashion Turns into High Crimes

In the latest episode of “Just When You Thought Corporate America Couldn’t Get Any Weirder,” we present the tale of Mike Jeffries, the former bigwig of Abercrombie & Fitch, who has allegedly taken “business networking” to a whole new level. Indicted on 16 federal counts of sex trafficking and international prostitution, Jeffries is reportedly being accused of using a complex web of employees, contractors, and disparate fast-food mascots (okay, maybe not those last ones) to manage his, shall we say, “extracurricular activities” while at the helm of the popular clothing retailer.

U.S. Attorney Breon Peace, fresh off a press conference that likely had more suspense than a season finale of a crime drama, informed the public that Jeffries wasn’t just selling overpriced t-shirts. No, he was allegedly leveraging his corporate empire to “traffic men for his own sexual pleasure and that of his romantic partner.” Talk about taking “branding” a tad too far!

Joining him in this scandalous escapade are Matthew Smith, Jeffries’ partner, and James Jacobson, a fellow corporate operative who apparently thought responding to a shady Craigslist ad for “recruiting” sounded like a fun side gig. Jacobson allegedly moonlighted as a “talent scout” for “modeling opportunities,” which may serve as an excellent cautionary tale for those aspiring actors out there.

The grand scheme apparently involved recruiting young men under the guise of exclusive Abercrombie modeling gigs but quickly devolved into a rather bizarre cash-for-collagen affair. The indictment describes “sex events” that involved poppers, Viagra, and a lot of confused young men who probably thought they were signing up for a different industry altogether—the fashion one where at least they’d get free clothes.

It gets better: from December 2008 to March 2015, Jeffries and crew allegedly hosted parties in fabulous locales—think the Hamptons, Paris, and, for some reason, a hotel in Morocco. Because who doesn’t want to add “international sex trafficking” to their CV while sipping mint tea in Marrakech?

Jeffries, known for his “exclusionary” corporate ethos, has found himself grasping for any kind of fashion-forward defense following his downfall—perhaps attempting to spin this as an avant-garde marketing tactic. Unfortunately for him, the courtroom is not exactly front-row seating for launching a new summer collection.

“Both you and your wardrobe are not safe until we unbox the allegations,” Peace noted in his press conference. Clearly, the message here is as clear as a summer sale at Abercrombie: exploiting vulnerable humans is soooo last season.

Now that the curtain has fallen on this corporate comedy, we wait to see how the legal drama unfolds. Jeffries and Smith appeared in court today, perhaps on the advice of their lawyers to at least wear something nice, while Jacobson is starting his own tour—through a courtroom in St. Paul.

As for those hefty bonds—all were set at surprisingly humanely low levels—who knew being charged with international prostitution and dragging a brand’s reputation through the mud could come with such a manageable price tag? Welcome to the business world, where the line between a slap on the wrist and real consequences gets blurrier than a cheap photo filter.

So here’s a toast to corporate America: where scandal is just another team-building exercise, as long as the marketing team is watching from a distance with their popcorn.