Coca-Cola’s New Health Trend: ‘Zero Sugar’ Lemonade That You Can’t Drink If You’re Thirsty!

In a twist worthy of a soap opera plot, Coca-Cola has recalled over 13,000 cases of its Minute Maid Zero Sugar Lemonade—because the ambitious packaging department got it in their head to confuse “Zero Sugar” with “Full Sugar.” Apparently, the lemons are sweetening the deal on their own. Thanks to the Food and Drug Administration (FDA) for safeguarding us from such a sugary conundrum.

This snafu is labeled as a class II recall, which is basically the FDA’s way of saying, “Sure, it’s a health hazard, but don’t worry too much; you probably won’t end up in the ER… unless you decide to down a case of these lemonades in one go.”

For anyone brave enough to consume the Minute Maid lemonade without checking the label, one can has a staggering 40 grams of sugar. That’s right, each sip contains enough sugar to make a candy shop look like a health food store. So, *cheers* to potential insulin spikes disguised as refreshment!

The delightful, deceptive 12-pack has been shipped to retailers in Indiana, Kentucky, and Ohio. You can identify the rogue cartons by looking for the secret codes FEB1725CNA or FEB1725CNB—codes that sound far more like a spy mission than a food recall.

Although rumors of this lemony lullaby began circulating in early September, Coca-Cola chose to keep it low-key, living out a delightful saga of corporate secrets instead of issuing a timely news release. You know, to keep things interesting.

“No impacted product remains in the market,” Coca-Cola proudly declared, as if they were running a non-profit organization for misguided thirst, flushing the sugar-laden contraband down the proverbial drain.

But don’t break out the confetti just yet—the FDA insists that the saga of the Sunshine Thief continues as the “event is considered ongoing.” Because clearly, public health issues need a bit of drama to keep it all lively.