[ad_1]
In the latest episode of “Capitol Hill Shenanigans,” we meet Dana Jean Bell, a 62-year-old Trump fan who took the whole “Make America Great Again” thing a bit too literally and thought storming the Capitol was part of the game. After a brief, not-so-honorable performance where she assailed law enforcement officers like they were piñatas at a sad birthday party, she now claims she was “duped” by Trump’s lies. Shockingly, it turns out that believing the guy who thinks windmills cause cancer might not be the best life choice!
Dana was handed a generous 17-month vacation in federal prison; she likely left the courtroom shocked, as she expected gold stars for her enthusiasm rather than a scarlet letter. U.S. District Judge Timothy J. Kelly had to break the news that pushing and screaming obscenities at Capitol Police isn’t exactly a skill that earns you community service credits.
As for her defense, it seems Dana has had her epiphany: in a court-furnished therapy session, a doctor enlightened her on the chilling revelation that Trump wasn’t exactly handing out truth nuggets. She now realizes she played the fool, and let’s face it, that’s like discovering the mythical unicorn actually exists but only at your local petting zoo where the animals are stressed and overfed.
In court, Dana left behind a legacy of “support” for the police, having shouted at Officer Jeffrey Smith to “get a real job.” This, perhaps, is the punchline to Trump‘s grand joke — where a rioter believes she’s saving democracy while handing out verbal middle fingers like they’re party favors.
Smith tragically became a statistic in a tragic comedy — a public servant who took his own life after being pummeled by both protesters and the weight of an overwhelmed justice system. In a cruel twist, his widow was in the courtroom, laying the blame squarely on Dana’s shoulders, reminding everyone that her antics directly contributed to real-life consequences. But who knows, perhaps Dana is now encouraging a Netflix documentary dotted with ironic commentary on freedom, the American Dream, and how not to take “Let’s storm the Capitol!” as a legitimate career move.
Meanwhile, Peter G. Moloney, another Trump devotee and funeral home heir, also made headlines this week for utilizing his inheritance to spray officers with bug killer instead of courteousness. His felony charge had all the subtlety of a sledgehammer at a tea party, and his upcoming sentencing date is perfectly timed with the next presidential inauguration — because why not kick off a new administration with a nostalgic reminiscence of chaos?
Truly, their stories are as inspirational as they are cautionary—proof that in America’s political circus, candidates for the best supporting role in a tragedy can be found lurking in the most unexpected corners, armed with bug spray and the fervor of misguided loyalty.
[ad_2]
Trump/jan-6-rioter-assaulted-police-says-was-duped-trumps-election-lies-rcna176025″>Source
