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BuyBuy Baby has hit the snooze button on its brick-and-mortar revival, saying a teary goodbye to its stores for the second time in less than a year, proving that retail truly is the wackiest circus act still performing under the big top of bankruptcy. Just when we thought it had successfully dusted off its baby bottles, it turns out the only things it’s been resurrecting are memories of how not to run a store.
In a move best described as a “strategic reset”—a fancy term for one last-ditch effort to avoid Total collapse—BuyBuy Baby is pivoting to an online-only biz model. Seriously, let’s send all our retail dreams into the ethereal realm of the internet. And guess what? All ten of its remaining locations will vanish faster than a good Wi-Fi signal at a family reunion, officially closing by year-end. They even sent us a heartfelt message about how “difficult” this decision was, as if Fenway Park after last call was the backdrop they were imagining.
Yes, folks, the “closing sales” have kicked off, and gift cards will still be accepted until Halloween—because what better way to celebrate the spooky season than to watch your last remaining funds disappear? But don’t worry, you can still register for baby gifts online—because nothing says “I can’t handle reality” like making a registry for a child in a store that no longer exists.
You’d think this saga would be a cautionary tale about the fickle fate of retail, but no! The brick-and-mortar resurrection of BuyBuy Baby—which boasted a glorious 120 stores at one point—lasted a mere 12 months. It had the longevity of a toddler’s attention span, with the new attempt scattered like baby food on a kitchen wall across some eastern U.S. states.
The plot thickens! After its previous parent company, Bed Bath & Beyond, took a swan dive into bankruptcy, they sold BuyBuy Baby’s intellectual property and trademark rights for a meager $15.5 million to Dream On Me Industries. It’s heartwarming to see that “baby” companies are still able to capitalize on the ruins of their predecessors like adorable little financial algae.
Shortly after the dust settled, Dream On Me had high hopes for BuyBuy Baby, touting plans to open 100 new stores! Meanwhile, the consumers have declared themselves officially sane by opting for comfy couch shopping experiences at Amazon and Target—because who needs to set foot in a store when you can buy a crib from the couch while still in your pajamas?
And here’s the icing on this bizarre cake: in an absurd twist of fate, Bed Bath & Beyond has decided to make a comeback, but this time it’s teaming up with none other than the Container Store—because looking for sheets should definitely require a scavenger hunt through aisles of shelving units and multi-functional bins. Truly, if there is a silver lining to this madness, it’s that the world of retail never ceases to be a ludicrous source of entertainment.
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