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COLUMBUS, Ga. — Former President Bill Clinton has jumped back into the political circus, throwing his hat in the ring as the unofficial hype man for Vice President Kamala Harris. As he campaigns, he suggests that the fate of the election hinges on public interest in an honest vote tally—because nothing screams integrity quite like a group of politicians staring each other down like it’s a game of poker in Las Vegas.
When asked what would tip the scale, Clinton quipped, “It’s all about who wants it bad enough and whether we can find an honest person in here,” later clarifying that he refers to those election officials—who, bless their hearts, are facing intimidation that would make mob bosses proud. Apparently, counting votes in America is now akin to counting cards in a high-stakes gambling den.
Clinton has been tugging on heartstrings in Georgia, hoping to evoke sympathy as he talks immigration. In perhaps a more absurd twist, he dragged up the tragic case of a nursing student, pointing fingers at migrants with dubious visas like they’re the villains in a bad sitcom. He suggested that if only the system had reviewed their resumes a little better, maybe the tragedy wouldn’t have happened—which, in Clinton logic, is as close as you get to a straightforward immigration policy these days.
And of course, Trump—who’s made immigration his bread and butter—couldn’t resist surfing the waves of Clinton’s remarks, claiming those dreaded “bad hombres” are slipping through the cracks right under Harris’s nose. He pointed out that the alleged killer arrived just days before Harris declared the border “secure,” which is like saying the Titanic was fine right before it took that fateful plunge.
Harris’s team, meanwhile, insists Clinton’s words were plucked straight from a bad editing room. They argue that he was trying to steer the conversation toward the necessity of “vetted” immigrants—because who doesn’t love a good vetting process that makes job applications feel like a TSA line?
As the campaign rumbles on, Clinton finds himself among a motley crew of political figures, including the ever-hopeful Barack Obama, hitting the pavement for Harris. But the latest NBC News poll indicates that instead of a runaway train, this campaign might just be a death match in a crowded arena—where everyone’s throwing everything but the kitchen sink at one another for a seat at the table of dysfunction.
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