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Just when you thought the corporate world couldn’t get any weirder, X has unveiled its latest terms of service, which should hilariously go into effect on November 15. Spoiler alert: it’s not just a change in font – it’s more like a plot twist in a B-rated thriller.
“By submitting, posting, or displaying Content on or through the Services, you grant us a worldwide, non-exclusive, royalty-free license to make your Content available to everyone,” the terms proclaimed, sounding suspiciously similar to a villain revealing their master plan—complete with a side of data-hungry AI. It’s like giving away your lunch money and then realizing that the kid you gave it to is now the lunch monitor.
In simpler terms, if you keep scrolling and tweeting, you’re essentially agreeing to let your sparkling wit and precious selfies be munched on by the voracious data-hungry AI beast.
As AI continues its dramatic rise on social media, users on X, once known for witty banter, now find themselves anxiously looking over their shoulders. Artists are biting their nails, realizing their latest masterpieces might be used to train a soulless algorithm that could soon scribble better than they ever could. And that’s not even the half of it—some users are frantically deleting photos, fearing their grainy selfies could end up in the wrong digital hands.
And if you dare to oppose this new order, word on the street suggests you might find yourself battling it out in a courtroom that’s apparently a favorite stomping ground for conservative activists and is currently hosting a couple of lawsuits against X’s beloved founder. Oh, the irony! Who knew tech could feel so much like a bad reality show filled with feuding contestants?
According to the fine print, it seems any bickering about these thrilling new terms will be held in the lovely US District Court for the Northern District of Texas. So if you think chasing justice will be a fun road trip, think again: not only is it over 100 miles from X’s “cool” new headquarters outside Austin, but it’s also amidst a sparkling Texas landscape that distracts from your impending legal doom.
Now here’s the kicker: users who stick around post-November 15 are giving a hearty thumbs-up to these updated terms. It’s like signing up to be part of a dubious cult without even realizing it—just with fewer tie-dyed shirts and more hashtags.
Meanwhile, X’s chatbot, Grok, has already demonstrated its remarkable ability to spread misinformation about the upcoming 2024 election and is generating bizarrely violent fake images like a digital Picasso on a bad day. Other tech giants like Google and Microsoft have similarly wound up in the AI crossfire, leaving many to wonder if they even thought about hiring a babysitter for their digital creations.
Prior to this thrilling update, X users could manage their data-sharing desires by casually opting out with a quick click in a maze of menus. Now, however, it’s a bit of a mystery whether you can still dodge the data-grabbing shenanigans; after all, who really trusts legalese when it sounds like a poorly-written science fiction novel?
Alex Fink, the CEO and founder of Otherweb and apparent Oracle of all things AI-related, intricately noted that while broad licensing isn’t exactly revolutionary, X’s latest version “removes any ambiguity.” In a world already cluttered with confusion, it seems the only thing clearer than their intentions is the existential dread felt by the average user.
Perhaps the most absurd twist of all? Before asserting they’d keep private posts out of the AI training ground, X was all sunshine and rainbows. Now, it seems they’ve decided to play fast and loose with their promises. The new terms don’t discriminate between accounts like a kindergarten teacher handing out cookies—everyone is fair game!
But one thing’s for sure, as with all the best cliffhangers, only time will tell if users can still opt out or whether they’ll be unwittingly contributing to Machine Learning era two—where the almighty AI reigns supreme and users are left wondering if they should have deleted that picture from the summer of ’15 instead.
*Cue dramatic music and wait for the next episode…*
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