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In a thrilling twist straight out of a dystopian sitcom, an apartment on the esteemed Shaul Avigour Street in Tel Aviv is hitting the market—and it boasts a “large nuclear bomb shelter in the building.” Because, let’s face it, who doesn’t dream of living in a high-rise monument to paranoia? With tensions heating up with Iran, this is clearly the ideal time to invest in real estate—better to spend your savings on a bomb shelter than a vacation, right?
Reports reveal a posh bomb shelter in Neot Afeka sold for 9.2 million shekels. It’s the ultimate luxury item for those who fear impending doom but still want to keep up appearances among the elite. Who needs a walk-in closet when you can have a fortified bunker that screams, “I can survive the apocalypse and still have enough room for my collection of artisanal pickles”?
For the rest of us mere mortals without cottage-sized budgets, a communal bomb shelter could be the ticket to survival—or at least an extended awkward silence with your neighbors. These beauties take hermit life to an entirely new level: once you pop that airtight hatch, you’re sealed in for two weeks to a month. It’s like an extended family reunion, but the only conversation topic is nuclear fallout.
Of course, regular shelters only defend against the initial kaboom. After that, you’re in for a lengthy stay—great for binge-watching post-apocalyptic dramas, not so great for your mental health. Meanwhile, the public officials will be tucked away in their exclusive hideouts, guarded by layers of bureaucracy while the rest of us huddle in our “shared living experience.” Talk about a blast!
So, in the grand theater of absurdity that is Israeli society, investing in a bomb shelter seems both practical and absolutely ridiculous. Because nothing says “I’m prepared for anything” quite like a housewarming party in a fallout shelter—just don’t forget the snack rations!
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