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In a dazzling display of geopolitical interior decorating, the United States and Israel have taken on the role of the trendsetting home remodelers of the Middle East. Move over, HGTV—this duo is here to create a ‘new security arrangement’ that’s just a tad darker than shiplap and faux finishes.
Matt Duss, a voice of reason from the Center for International Policy, emerges from the fog of diplomatic doublespeak to reveal that the dynamic duo isn’t exactly looking to cool down the hot tub of turmoil bubbling over in the region. Instead, they’re embracing chaos like it’s the latest Instagram filter. Forget about trying to make peace; they’re aiming for a full renovation of the ‘security’ blueprint, and the exit signs are so last season.
With the U.S. patting Israel on the back like a supportive life coach, our favorite neighborhood powerhouse is getting pretty comfortable with its wrecking ball—swinging aimless strikes across Palestinian territories and popping off shots in Lebanon, Syria, and Yemen like it’s a twisted game of whack-a-mole. And just when we thought things couldn’t get any more absurd, there’s talk of a direct sequel to the Iran visit—because who doesn’t love a good ‘we’ll get to you eventually’ scheme?
So grab your popcorn, folks! The show’s just getting started, and with no end in sight, one can only hope that ratings for this geopolitical soap opera won’t plummet—because let’s face it, the absurdity of human behavior never goes out of style.
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