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Ah, the Metropolitan Police, that fine institution known for its unyielding dedication to the letter of the law—unless, of course, the alleged culprit is a wealthy man with a penchant for the finer things in life, like owning Harrods and Fulham FC. You know, just your average billionaire getting accused of a smorgasbord of serious crimes by 21 different women over almost two decades—between 2005 and 2023. A grand buffet of allegations, yet the police seem to have opted for a diet of inaction.
After all, who could blame them? Prosecutors decided that there wasn’t a “realistic prospect of conviction” against Al Fayed in two cases from 2009 and 2015 because, I suppose, once you’re in the upper echelons of society, things like “evidence” and “justice” can take a backseat. And why bother with action against a man who’s “out of the game”? Two cases were scoffed at, and a smattering of early advice felt like a polite way of saying, “Thanks, but no thanks!”
And let’s not forget the 60 more allegations that came swirling up after a BBC documentary aired—because nothing screams “I care” quite like a revelation from a TV screen that prompts a crowd of voices to finally feel heard. “Hey, maybe we should actually listen to women!” they must have thought. Well, at least it’s a start.
Former inspector Zoe Billingham, bless her, put on her best shocked face and mused over the contradictory reality: “It beggars belief that 21 women came forward…” Truly, what a shocker! Apparently, having similar stories isn’t enough when you’re facing a titan of industry. It’s like trying to convince a cat that a cucumber is dangerous: it just won’t budge, despite the evidence.
Met Commander Stephen Clayman made sure to thank all those brave souls who decided to speak up, perhaps unaware that “Thanks for your service!” isn’t quite the solace victims look for after being ignored by the very institution meant to protect them. In his world, thorough reviews take precedence over actual justice. He reassured the public that although you can’t try the deceased—a real downer for crime-fighting enthusiasts—they’re keen on making sure any potential survivors can “have a voice.” If only voices could pay bills…
Meanwhile, Ronnie Gibbons, the former captain of Fulham Women, stirred the pot even more by recounting her own assault by the late tycoon. Because nothing says “let’s get to the bottom of this” like finding an extra round of stories in a narrative that’s already overflowing with tragic irony.
So remember, when it comes to justice in this delightful circus we call society, it seems you might need a billionaire’s wallet to catch a break—or at least a good PR team.
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