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In a plot twist only Texas could offer, Attorney General Ken Paxton has decided to unleash his legal prowess on Dr. May Chi Lau, a Dallas physician, for allegedly dispensing transition-related care to a group of 21 minors. Apparently, in the grand state of Texas, doctors must now adhere to the latest edition of “How to Be a Medical Professional: The Bizarre Edition,” where caring for children means strictly following Senate Bill 14—a law as welcome as a raccoon at a picnic.
According to Paxton, who’s doing his best to protect the youth from the perilous clutches of hormone replacement therapy from October 2023 to August (a timespan in which most of us were just trying to remember what year it was), Dr. Lau is guilty of “dangerous unscientific medical interventions.” One might even ask if Paxton’s next target will be gluten—after all, it’s also seen as a threat to youngsters, right?
“We must save children from these irreversible treatments that are as harmful as letting them watch reality television,” Paxton proclaimed, probably while browsing the latest TikTok trends—nothing like dancing kids to illustrate the dangers of modernity! His carefully crafted legal mindset implies that a true hero would take down those dastardly doctors and their “weapons of mass transition” instead of, say, focusing on actual health crises.
But wait, there’s more! The saga continues with Paxton alleging that Dr. Lau used “false diagnoses and billing codes.” We are left to imagine what that might entail—perhaps a secret doctor handbook titled “How to Pretend to Be a Doctor in Texas.” Not to mention, while Dr. Lau is dodging legal bullets, her employer, the University of Texas Southwestern Medical Center, is apparently too preoccupied to comment, likely busy drafting a legal defense of their own using crayons and a legal pad.
Should Paxton emerge victorious, Dr. Lau could face the ultimate Texas healthcare nightmare: losing her medical license and a fine that would make even the most grotesque hospital bill look like pocket change. Alas, this lawsuit marks the first time an attorney general has taken on an individual doctor over transition care, making Paxton the pioneer of this misguided crusade, perhaps hoping to find a place in the annals of history next to Davy Crockett and other heroic figures of the Lone Star State.
Interestingly, even in their regulatory zeal, Texas law offers a loophole for those lucky minors already on treatment. Last year’s Senate Bill 14 allows a “safe and medically appropriate” weaning process only for patients who were fortunate enough to start treatment before the calendar flipped to June 1, 2023. It’s a bit like saying you can go ahead and finish your ice cream as long as you started eating it before the mom-countdown to bedtime began. What a charmed life!
Meanwhile, as the drama unfolds, we find that Paxton isn’t alone in his ‘suit-and-tie’ adventure; he’s joined by fellow attorneys general engaging in a nationwide scavenger hunt for hospitals and clinics providing transition care. Apparently, their goal is to collect so many patient records they could start their own reality show called “Law and Order: Oppression Unit.”
Oh, and don’t forget our friends at the U.S. Supreme Court—they’re sitting poised to weigh in on a similar law in Tennessee, potentially sending shockwaves through the laws of other states as they cross their fingers and hope they don’t upset the “conservative apple cart.” Think of it like a high-stakes game of hot potato, only the potato is made of political agendas and everyone’s hoping it doesn’t explode.
Let’s round things off with a tasty nugget: major medical organizations, like the American Medical Association, seem to disagree with Paxton’s views. They’ve labeled transition care as an effective and medically necessary treatment for gender dysphoria—a condition apparently no one told Paxton exists, or was a valid reason to seek medical help. One can only wonder if he thinks handing a child a coloring book is an appropriate antidote instead.
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