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In a shocking twist of fate that could only happen in our political circus, Vice President Kamala Harris is leading former President Donald Trump among Black voters in battleground states, which seems to be a stellar investment in the popularity stock market — you know, the one where everyone’s throwing their money into the “hope” and “better decisions” funds instead of the “I’m just here for the chaos” portfolio.

According to the latest poll by the Howard University Initiative on Public Opinion—because who doesn’t love a good polling party?—84% of likely Black voters are ready to roll out the welcome mat for Harris come November, while a bold 8% still find Trump’s game of political dodgeball captivating enough to consider. Another 8%? Well, they appear to be perfecting their undecided fidget spinner skills.

Now, if we rewind the emotional rollercoaster to last month, Harris was hanging out with 82% of the cool kids while Trump was sitting in the back corner with only 12%. Apparently, in the world of political support, 4% is the new black, and we now have a 26% audience choosing to remain firmly on the fence, aka the ideal seating arrangement where one can view the chaos without actually committing to a side, like a spectator at a trainwreck demolition derby.

But wait, this isn’t a sports update, it’s 2024, where nearly two-thirds of Black voters are rumbling with excitement, ready to chirp their opinions at the voting booth, while a solid 35% insist on keeping us all in suspense about whom they’ll cast their vote for. It’s like political gossip during a high-stakes game of musical chairs… with real stakes… and chairs that are on fire.

Among the wannabe influencers—say, the independent Black voters—there’s a slight uptick in support for Trump. He’s up to 18%, which makes one wonder if he’s secretly running a promo campaign featuring free hotdogs or a live-streamed magician performance—because truly, who wouldn’t want to change their vote after a good card trick?

As for the gentlemanly divide (or is it more of a gentleman’s quarrel?), Harris is currently ruling the queens (Black women) with an 81-point crown, while her king support among Black men stands at a mere 59 points. “How to lose half your fan base in 60 seconds” from the Biden-Harris tactics handbook must have a few new chapters to explore. The young Black men, paragons of unpredictability, have shown a spurt of interest in Trump—who knew he could charm them with tales of economic doom and gloom while promising candy-coated solutions?

And of course, let’s introduce the grand competition: the issues! While 22% of Black voters are gripping democracy and voting rights like it’s the last slice of pizza at a party, 19% are glued to the economy like a binge-worthy Netflix series. Meanwhile, Black women are treating abortion rights like the hottest topic of the season, so much so that they’ve also brought democracy and the economy onto their must-watch list!

In the dazzling world of politics, where everyone desires a say but few fancy the spotlight, 19% of undecideds are flapping about, yelling that the economy is their “guy,” while another 14% have made inflation their worst frenemy. It’s as if they took their voting rights and decided to fashion them into designer handbags, because who doesn’t love a scandal on a catwalk?

So buckle up, folks! The 2024 election promises to be a show filled with unexpected guest stars, wild plot twists, and maybe even a reality TV-style reunion at the polls. Who knows? Perhaps we’ll find the undecided finally turning to “Team Democracy” by default—they’ve certainly watched the reruns long enough.

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