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At a recent rally, Vice President Kamala Harris took a page from the classroom playbook—because nothing says “high-stakes political theater” quite like a show-and-tell. With all the flair of a magician pulling rabbits from hats, she blasted out clips of former President Donald Trump deeming his opponents the “enemy within,” proving once again that the actual enemy might just be a poorly thought-out script covered in cringeworthy rhetoric.

“Let’s face it, folks,” Harris quipped, channeling that inner wisecracking detective. “After all these years, we now know who Donald Trump is: a guy who would probably run over a puppy if it meant getting the final parking spot at a rally.”

And let’s not kid ourselves about Trump’s rallies; Harris, using the kind of logic you’d expect from a stand-up comedian, urged viewers to tune in. “Watch his rallies, listen to him roar—he’s practically handing us the blueprint for a horror movie!” Packed into the Erie Insurance Arena, supporters were treated to a special feature: clips of Trump schooling us all in the art of political self-cannibalism. “Here tonight, let’s witness Trump’s worldview,” Harris announced, setting the stage for what could only be described as a political version of a bad horror flick complete with jump scares and a plot twist no one wanted.

In one clip, Trump declared, “The worst people are the enemies from within,” as if he were composing a poem while sipping on a nice cup of irony. “Now if you had one really violent day, one rough hour…” he mused, leaving the audience to wonder if he was discussing governance or just reliving a particularly messy Thanksgiving dinner.

Harris harnessed this peculiar blend of clownish absurdity and serious allegations to warn her audience: “Trump defines enemies as anyone who doesn’t scramble to comply with his whims. And let’s face it, even Santa Claus wouldn’t make the cut!” Addressing the crowd with a flourish, she concluded with a heartfelt reminder that the stakes were higher than the average Netflix binge. “We love our country,” she intoned, as if they were at a family reunion and not a political rally—except, of course, for that one uncle who insists on discussing his conspiracy theories.

So, as Harris and Trump continue their delightful dance of mud-slinging and melodrama, one can’t help but think: this definitely isn’t your average soap opera; it’s more like a reality TV series where logic took a vacation and left the camera rolling. After all, in the grand circus we call politics, the clowns are just as likely to run the show as anyone else!

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