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In a riveting episode of “How to Make Politics Even More Absurd,” Vice President Kamala Harris decided to turn a standard interview into a full-on wrestling match. It was her debut at Fox News—a place where fact-checking goes to die—aiming to lure disenchanted Republicans and independents, or perhaps just anyone with a pulse. You know, the typical Wednesday night entertainment.
When confronted about the little problem known as border crossings and violent crimes involving undocumented immigrants during Biden’s reign (also known as the Great Game of Deflection), Harris unequivocally dropped the mic on former President Donald Trump. She did this while passionately pointing fingers like a child caught red-handed with cookie crumbs on their face, raving about how Trump rejected a bipartisan border security bill. Apparently, discussing actual governance is so last season.
And when the topic turned to Biden’s mental clarity—always a hair-raising discussion—she accused Trump of being “unstable,” a label that could earn him a side gig in a reality show titled “America’s Most Wanted: Political Edition.”
She then took a moment to blast Fox News for “whitewashing” Trump’s spicy rhetoric, like calling opponents “the enemy within.” Who doesn’t love a bit of drama? “It’s called democracy,” she declared, as if knocking on the White House doors hoping someone inside would please remind everyone what that means.
The interview morphosed into a spectacle reminiscent of two boxers trying to outlast the other in the ring. Harris, showcasing her new hawkish persona, waxed poetically about how America should fix its immigration system—as if it were a flat tire that could be mended at a gas station. “Just a number,” she said when pressed about undocumented immigrants released into the U.S., blowing off specifics like they were yesterday’s news conference.
Then there was the tragic case of a murdered Georgia nursing student, tossed into the mix like a red meat snack for political predators, as Harris solemnly reflected on family pain while reminding everyone that without Trump’s roadblocks (a.k.a. Congress), there could’ve been more border agents around. Ah, the classic “if only” narrative, the politician’s bread and butter.
But fear not! Harris promised her presidency wouldn’t just be a Netflix continuation of Biden’s season. “I represent a new generation of leadership,” she proclaimed, as if that new generation comes with a shiny new set of policies instead of just rehashed lapdog policies dressed in fresh rhetoric.
The interview crescendoed in a zany discussion about gender-affirming care for prisoners. When asked if she supports using taxpayer money for transgender surgeries in prison—because who doesn’t want to add that fun debate to the docket?—Harris turned diplomatic, insisting she’d “follow the law,” much like Trump did… sort of. It’s like watching two magicians trying to pull the same rabbit from a hat while arguing about whose hat is more stylish.
In the end, it’s clear both sides are locked in a competition to see who can throw shade harder while simultaneously fumbling over responsibility for the mess we call a political system—because nothing says “public service” quite like a punchy Fox News interview with a litany of evasions, accusations, and promises that may or may not involve glitter and rainbows.
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