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In a twist that would make even the most seasoned baseball fan raise an eyebrow, Shohei Ohtani, the unicorn of Major League Baseball, just shattered records like a piñata at a birthday party. He’s officially the first in MLB history to hit 50 home runs and steal 50 bases in the same season. I guess when you’re that good, trying to decide what to break is like choosing between cake and ice cream—just do both!
Meanwhile, the MLB postseason is stepping up to the plate and swinging for the fences, averaging a whopping 8.26 million viewers for the first game of the National League Championship Series between the New York Mets and Los Angeles Dodgers. Fox Sports claimed it was the most-watched LCS game since 2009. Who knew the key to success was simply letting everyone know there are no robot umpires yet? You can’t miss the spectacle!
The American League Championship Series kicked off with a modest 3.9 million viewers, adding a delectable dash of 4% from last year’s figures. Seems like a modest uptick, but let’s be real: that’s still like gaining two subscribers on your YouTube channel after posting a video titled “My Cat’s Daily Activities.” The games went toe-to-toe with “Sunday Night” and “Monday Night Football,” as if they were all trying to impress the same social media influencer.
Despite some dire warnings in previous years about MLB’s cultural relevance—because apparently highlighting a man getting paid millions while playing with a ball is just too boring for the TikTok generation—the postseason is proving those worrywarts wrong. Last year’s World Series was so poorly rated it made C-SPAN look like a blockbuster, but somehow, investors are now brimming with optimism. Perhaps the solution to keeping younger generations engaged is just more clowns? Who wouldn’t want to see acrobatics between innings?
In a triumphant (or desperate) bid to increase excitement, MLB has experimented with rule changes, possibly inspired by a game of Monopoly gone awry. Bases are bigger now, the ‘shift’ has been restricted, and a pitch clock was introduced to put players under pressure. Some might call this progress; others would say baseball is evolving faster than a Netflix series. As Rob Manfred, the Commissioner who remains ever hopeful, declared, fan engagement is up. But let’s be honest: if you think we’re all tuning in for baseball and not for the Dramatic Unraveling of the Middle-Aged Man’s Emotional Journey, you might need a reality check.
And amidst the clamor, we have our old-world baseball aristocrats, the Yankees and the Dodgers, eyeing a showdown. They’ve both snagged their star hitters—Ohtani and Aaron Judge—like children at a candy store, desperately hoping that everyone else in line doesn’t run out of patience. Heading into the playoffs, the stakes are high! What could possibly go wrong when two franchises with names that sound like they belong on a Wall Street trading floor collide?
But, hold on! Let’s not forget the rollercoaster tales of the Mets and Guardians. The Mets had their season revived by none other than Grimace—yes, the purple McDonald’s mascot—who tossed out the first pitch and presumably also walked away with $50 in royalties. Meanwhile, the Guardians are trying to erase their division lead meltdown with the kind of comeback story that makes you want to grab some popcorn and cheer. In baseball, everyone loves a good underdog, especially if they come with a side of fries.
The Yankees are currently leading their series against the Guardians 2-0, with the Mets and Dodgers hilariously locked at 1-1. It’s neck-and-neck in a contest where everyone was feeling rather philosophical about which divine order of chaos would ultimately prevail. Who knew corporate mergers would become less confusing than MLB playoff brackets?
So grab your peanuts and Cracker Jack, folks! Because in this absurd theater of wealth and talent, anything can happen—including giving that cat video a run for its money!
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