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Headline: Government Plot Twist: Politicians in a Game of Subpoena Tag!
In a scene straight from a political comedy sketch, top Republican Rep. Nancy Mace of South Carolina is gearing up for an epic showdown with the Biden administration over social media transparency, or as she calls it, the “Please Don’t Censor My Crazy Conspiracy Theories” mission. Mace, chair of the House Oversight Subcommittee on Cybersecurity, Information Technology, and Government Innovation (yes, that’s a real title — clearly, they were running low on creative team names), is poised to unleash the mighty subpoena after the White House ghosted her requests like a bad Tinder date.
According to Mace, the administration is allegedly playing puppet master with social media companies, making everyone wonder if they’re trying to keep us all blissfully unaware of how many times we’ve misclicked on “yes” to those "Do you want to know more about our 17-point plan to ruin your life?" ads. She wants the juicy details of the White House’s interactions with social media giants like Meta (formerly Facebook), on the off chance there’s a secret recipe for misinformation they’re cooking up ahead of the elections.
“It’s the administration’s job to let us in on their attempts to limit the ‘thoughts that could lead to spontaneous head-scratching,’” she insists, pointing out how the administration once owned up to working with social media to flag misinformation about the oh-so-fun pandemic — because what’s more fun than a global crisis?
While skeptics may say she resembles a cartoon character fumbling with a giant mallet labeled “Subpoena,” Mace remains undeterred in her quest for transparency. She claims that the Biden–Harris juggernaut has made it their business to control the narrative, even though in the summer, the Supreme Court ruled they had no power over social media moderation policies, sending conservatives into full “we’re being persecuted” mode — right after they finished brushing up on their “How To Play the Victim” handbook.
Meanwhile, Meta‘s chief ringmaster Mark Zuckerberg, who apparently keeps running into walls of regret like they’re his old college buddies, confirmed the White House did indeed nudge them to censor certain Covid-19 content. But hey, who doesn’t cringe at their choices during a pandemic? At least he can shelter under the “I was just following orders” umbrella.
In a melodramatic twist more befitting a soap opera than a political hearing, Rep. Gerry Connolly, a Democrat, piped in to say the real story is that Republicans are only salty because their own collusion with social media is as transparent as their hair dye. He pointed out that the only actual scandal involves the Trump campaign cozying up to Elon Musk, which is like finding out a clown is also a dentist.
But for now, while the White House is playing hard to get and not responding to Mace’s love letters about transparency, the rest of us can just sit back and enjoy this circus. Will she issue the dreaded subpoena? Will social media’s “truths” continue to shape our reality? Stay tuned for the next episode of As The Politician Turns.
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