[ad_1]
Iowa, the ever-enthusiastic political speed bump of America, is ready to roll out the electoral red carpet for yet another gripping season of “Who Can Scream the Loudest During a Pandemic!” As voters prepare to stamp their ballots on November 5, they may find themselves more intrigued by the riveting races further down the ballot than by the main event: a battle between a woman whose sole claim to fame is tying herself to a less popular guy and a man who happily dangles the possibility of another round with reality television.
In a state where the presidential vote margins are as thin as a politician’s promise, Iowa’s voters will grapple with the urgent task of letting their voices be heard—just in time for a new constitutional amendment to make it crystal clear that only those who have jumped through the proper citizenship hoops can voice an opinion. Meanwhile, teens itching to join the voting party will be allowed to join in—presumably because they can’t resist the magic of democracy, especially if TikTok says it’s cool.
As the GOP enjoys a monopoly on Iowa’s political landscape sharper than a corn stalk, incumbent Republicans are gearing up for the most competitive reelection bids since a toddler’s lemonade stand. One of them, Rep. Mariannette Miller-Meeks, faces off against Democrat Christina Bohannan, who previously lost by a margin that could be generously described as ‘slightly less than a due date.’ And just for added flavor, there’s a Democrat named Lanon Baccam running against Rep. Zach Nunn in a district that Trump won by less than the cost of a round of drinks at a dive bar.
But hold onto your ballot: the stakes are incredibly high! With Republicans already strutting like they own the place in both state legislative chambers (because technically, they do), all they need is a few extra seats to throw a party with veto-proof authority. Think of it as a game of Monopoly, where they already have Boardwalk and Park Place, and just need that pesky Mediterranean Avenue to call it truly theirs.
A wild carousel of constitutional amendments will also attempt to clarify the murky waters of gubernatorial succession. Because heaven forbid we let some unworthy person slip into the top job just because they happened to be waiting in the wings when the current governor eats a bad taco.
And while the Associated Press tells us they’ll only declare a winner when all other options are exhausted—much like a teenager searching for their socks in a messy bedroom—voters will have their hands full deciding who they think is less horrific for the future of democracy in the state.
So mark your calendars! The Iowan circus of democracy is back, and it’s more bewildering than ever. As the candidates remember to touch base with Iowans before Election Day—sexier than any high school reunion—grab your popcorn and settle in for a night of entertaining absurdity that will remind us all why we can’t have nice things.
[ad_2]Source
