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More than half of the living Nobel Prize winners in economics seem to have swapped their calculators for crystal balls, signing a letter declaring Vice President Kamala Harris’ economic agenda “vastly superior” to that of former President Donald Trump. Because when economists aren’t busy delighting us with their financial wizardry, they’re throwing out some witty barbs for political theater.
Oh, 23 of these brainiacs, including two of the last three recipients of the prestigious award, must have had a collective Eureka moment over their morning lattes, penning their epistolary masterpiece that we all know was just a great excuse for a “look, we’re better than that guy” moment. They threw in a few buzzwords—health, investment, sustainability, fairness—like confetti at a graduation that nobody really wanted to attend in the first place.
With Election Day looming like an unwanted houseguest, the letter was like a heavyweight stamp of approval for Harris, who’s probably tired of battling economic concerns while Joe Biden stood off to the side like a confused dad at a high school dance. Apparently, the economy is the big bad wolf that even the best fairy tales fear, and it had been huffing and puffing at Harris‘s door all campaign long.
Joseph Stiglitz, the Columbia wizard who spearheaded the missive, clearly decided that his past glory as a Nobel laureate was better spent stirring the political pot than solving actual economic issues. The last time these noble laureates banded together, they claimed Trump would turn the US economy into a jack-in-the-box of doom, and Trump, ever the gracious recipient of criticism, dismissed them as “worthless out of touch” economists—as if his own bank account holds any less validity than theirs.
But fear not! This latest letter (228 words of economic eloquence, which sounds about as thrilling as waiting in line at the DMV) welcomed some new signatories who presumably decided they needed extra credit for naming all the ways Trump’s economic plans could send the country spiraling faster than a roller coaster with no brakes. Because who wouldn’t want to be implicated in a potential economic disaster?
Not to be outdone, Trump continued to wave his tariff wand, boasting that it would yield a “massive positive effect,” like discovering a giant cookie at the bottom of an empty jar. “Tariff” is his new favorite word, gaining gold stars in his lexicon of creativity as he promised to abolish taxes on tips and overtime, aiming for a fiscal policy that seems more like a paper mache project gone wrong than an actual plan.
Voters still grappling with the harsh reality of their bank accounts watch with bated breath as both campaigns bicker like squabbling children over who gets the last cookie from the jar—the economy, a fragile stuffed toy in their tug-of-war while they promise to fix the mess with a blend of glittery ideas and bread crumbs.
As Harris attempts to wield her magic wand of economic empowerment to address everything from soaring prices to the cost of child care, she’s got economists on her side waving flags like they’re at a Mixed Double Olympic Match. Meanwhile, Trump stands grinning, launching promises of massive tax cuts gleaned from nonexistent revenue that could swell the federal deficit faster than a kid’s balloon at a birthday party.
And so the circus goes on, with economists drumming up applause for a potentially benevolent future while Trump insists he’s still the charismatic ringmaster, putting on a show filled with unexpected twists and outlandish claims. Will the audience be swayed? Grab your popcorn, folks—the economic show is just heating up as Election Day creeps ever closer.
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