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In a world where inflation is the hottest trend since avocado toast, the International Monetary Fund has kindly popped its head from the depths of fiscal hell to remind the UK that public investment is “badly needed” – as opposed to, say, a nationwide baking competition or another season of reality TV. Yes, while Ms. Rachel Reeves flits off to Washington like a schoolgirl on a field trip, the IMF is waving its arms, declaring the UK’s national debt as “high, rising, and risky.” Kind of like inviting your ex to dinner right after meeting someone new.
What’s especially charming is the IMF’s delightful observation that the UK is sporting interest rates akin to the US, while simultaneously growing at a rate that could make a tortoise look like an Olympic sprinter. Not to worry, though! They assure us that down the line, UK net debt will climb to almost 96.4% of GDP by 2029, which seems quite optimistic considering it sounds like an acrobat trying not to fall off a very tall ledge.
Vitor Gaspar, the fiscal affairs head honcho at the IMF, delivered this news with all the urgency of a soap opera plot twist. He cautions our leaders about the perils of delaying necessary adjustments, as if we’ve been kicking a can marked “national debt” down the street while arguing about the merits of different brands of tea. “Kicking the can down the road won’t do,” he says, not realizing that we’ve been excelling at that particular game for years.
In an ironic twist of fate, Ms. Reeves is expected to reshape the government’s debt rules so she can borrow even more, which should surely resolve everything – after all, when in doubt, just throw money borrowed against the future at it! It’s like trying to fix a leaky roof with duct tape while simultaneously building a brand-new house on the same foundation.
And just a fun little fact to spice up your ongoing existential crisis: the UK’s public and private investment levels are lower than a limbo pole at a toddler’s birthday party. Yet here we are, all set to draw up a budget that promises to increase taxes and subsequently cut spending – which is about as productive as trying to generate energy from a light bulb that’s already blown out.
So, as Ms. Reeves mingles with 190 finance ministers, perhaps they should all exchange lessons on how to work miracles from thin air, because if there’s one thing we can summarize from this compelling fiscal drama, it’s that public investment is the new unicorn – a fairy-tale idea that is desperately needed but seemingly impossible to find in this budgetary wonderland. Cheers to that!
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