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In a classic case of “who wore it best” in the arena of international conflict, Israel has decided to give Beirut a fresh coat of chaos with their latest airstrikes. Meanwhile, Hezbollah, playing the role of that overzealous friend at the party who just can’t take a hint, has swooped in to attack an army base as if saying, “Look, we’re still relevant!” It’s like watching two sitcom characters who just can’t stop trying to outdo each other, even as the audience fervently awaits the credits to roll.

Let’s take a moment to appreciate the absurdity: in a world where everyone can’t seem to agree on what’s for dinner, two entrenched groups are battling it out like a pair of stubborn toddlers squabbling over a toy, except this toy is regional stability and the stakes are a tad higher than a plastic truck. As Israel carpet-bombs a city, Hezbollah counters with their own brand of misguided “G.I. Joe” reenactments. Meanwhile, onlookers raise eyebrows, flip through their newsfeeds, and wonder if this is just a new season of “Real Housewives: War Edition.”

But fear not, dear spectators! This whole theater of the absurd will surely wrap up neatly in the finale. After all, nothing says conflict resolution quite like a good old-fashioned escalation, right? Perhaps the next plot twist will involve the international community giving them both participation trophies for “Most Creative Destruction.” After all, isn’t it ironic that in a world of tweets and likes, the loudest voices often seem to belong to those who wield the most explosive “art”?

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