[ad_1]
The November 5 general election is just around the corner, and it seems like Americans are waking up from a 12-year nap with all sorts of burning questions, probably ignited by the smoke of political scandals. When CNN sent out a bat signal asking the public about their electoral angst, the responses flooded in—like emails from a long-lost Nigerian prince promising riches.
Some folks had legitimate inquiries about the mysterious machinations of the Electoral College, while others just vented frustration about the presidential candidates as if they were forced to choose between a rock and a hard place. Interestingly, voter ballots in some counties looked like a psychedelic trip gone wrong, leading many to question if they were voting for president or auditioning for a circus.
I took the liberty of polishing some of these questions, reducing the drama and pumping up the absurdity. I’ll be your guide through the bizarre world of politics, answering questions weekly until we all get to play the “who lost the election this time?” game. If you’re worried about not getting your question answered, don’t fret! Just kick back, keep watching the political circus unfold, and keep those questions coming.
One particularly curious inquiry came from Steve in California, who wondered how soon after Election Day we could expect results given the avalanche of lawsuits Trump hinted at if he loses. Ah yes, nothing says democracy like a good ol’ legal showdown worthy of a daytime soap opera. As we all know, outcomes in this family drama depend on whether ballots are mailed or whether they’re tortured into submission by recounts. Should it be close, expect the results to be delayed longer than a typical family reunion where Uncle Larry drinks too much and starts a political debate.
As we trudge through the history of elections, we see that the 2020 results didn’t roll in until four sweaty days later, partly due to a Florida recount that felt more like an unwanted sequel. Speaking of Florida, remember that time in 2000 when the whole state turned into a game show and the Supreme Court came riding in like a superhero to hand the keys to the White House to George W. Bush? Good times!
This year, with noncitizen voting off the table—thanks to a 1996 law—many remain baffled as to how people fear shadowy overseas masterminds pilfering their ballots. That’s as real as a unicorn at a monster truck rally! And while rumors swirl about hidden votes cast by noncitizens, even the Heritage Foundation’s scoreboard can’t find a solid case to back it up.
Meanwhile, Sheila in Ohio expressed rage about being forced to scroll for Kamala Harris’ name on a ballot like it’s a Netflix horror show no one wants to watch. Sounds like Ohio’s ballot design might need a little more love, seeing as the first round of candidates looks like a mlm scheme gone wrong.
Then, cue Linda’s call for the abolishment of the Electoral College, as if we can just throw it out like grandma’s old couch. Sadly, dismantling it feels about as likely as finding Bigfoot in your backyard. It’s like Congress is on a merry-go-round, singing the same old tune while sipping on cups of “we’ll get to it eventually.”
Finally, we meet Julie from Michigan, who muses whether Democrats might want to celebrate the economy’s slow recovery from Trump’s “what happened here?” mess. Spoiler alert: it’s awkward. Making people feel good about a less than rosy situation doesn’t usually win elections—it’s like trying to sell ice cream to the lactose intolerant. So here we are, knee-deep in this ideological swamp, riding out another political cycle, all while dodging flying accusations and scrolling through ballots like it’s an Instagram feed. All aboard the electoral circus—where we’re all just trying to figure out which way is up!
[ad_2]
Source
