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President Joe Biden recently waxed poetic about his administration “breaking through with the truth,” which sounds great, except truth has turned out to be as elusive as a decent parking spot in Washington, particularly when it comes to the whirlwind of lies swirling around Hurricane Helene and Hurricane Milton.
In a masterclass of non-blame, he pointed out that while former President Donald Trump isn’t solely responsible for the life-size piñata of misinformation, he certainly has “the biggest mouth.” Think of it as a verbal hurricane, blowing hot air and confusion across the nation—where’s FEMA when you need them to board up the rhetoric?
As Biden huddled with his supporting cast, including Kamala Harris and Alejandro Mayorkas, at the White House, they likely marinated in grim discussions and copious amounts of disaster-themed small talk, surveying the wreckage left by storms that treated Florida and North Carolina like they were piñatas at a child’s birthday party.
With a bright smile and a fresh set of band-aids, Biden plans to gallivant down to Florida to check out Hurricane Milton’s handiwork—because nothing says “I care” like a presidential PR tour in the aftermath of devastation. Meanwhile, he’s sending smoke signals to House Speaker Mike Johnson, presumably hoping the good folk in Congress can work their magic and sprinkle some disaster aid funding like it’s confetti at a parade (without the entanglements and tangled emotions, of course).
Mayorkas chimed in, assuring the masses that FEMA could handle the immediate needs—because nothing says “we’ve got this” like a government agency that’s running low on cash faster than a high school kid on prom night. And let’s not forget the small businesses waiting for loans like penguins hoping for summer—admittedly, one must have a sense of humor to deal with that level of tension.
Biden‘s heartfelt plea about the lonely folks trapped in the chaos was almost touching, except it felt like a poorly scripted reality show. “There are a lot of people caught alone,” he lamented, as if he just realized isolation doesn’t end with the camera cut. Who knew that during a crisis, people might feel isolated? Revolutionary thinking there, Joe.
When asked if the swarming misinformation constitutes a “new normal,” Biden shook his head in mild disbelief, declaring boldly, “For some extreme people, perhaps, but that’s not what America is about!” Spoiler alert: America is definitely about this level of chaotic nonsense.
“We’re breaking through with it. We’re breaking through with the truth!” he maintains, likely while struggling to break through the collective eye roll of the nation as it watches misinformation spread like confetti on New Year’s Eve. Yes, gather around everyone; let’s applaud the Republican mayors for trying to steal back the truth from the clutches of Facebook and Twitter trolls. Together, we shall rise! (Maybe?)
In essence, Biden ended with a heartfelt chuckle, as he pondered the fate of those disoriented souls lost in the storm of misinformation. Just remember, folks—those who peddle lies for political gain will eventually “pay a price for it.” So, pay up—just not in disaster aid, because there’s definitely not enough of that to go around!
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