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In a stunning display of urban planning prowess that could only be rivaled by a toddler rearranging their toy box, Istanbul Mayor Ekrem Imamoğlu has decided to embark on a demolition spree, starting with the masjid near the Uzunçayır Metrobus station. Apparently, who needs places of worship when you have a half-finished pedestrian overpass lurking ominously for six years? Yes, that’s right, forget about the spiritual needs of the millions who pass through; they might as well meditate on the joys of commuting!
As the vanishing act of the masjid unfolds, residents are rallying not just against the absence of a place to pray, but also against the sheer absurdity of the city’s grand renovation plans, which seem to have been designed more as a Victorian mystery novel than a blueprint for progress. The city administration has been providing updates on public welfare, all while ensuring that the only thing actually progressing is frustration levels soaring among those who just want to navigate this concrete jungle with a hint of dignity.
One local resident lamented, “They could have at least given us a container masjid or a portable bathroom—we’re just here juggling transit schedules and the spiritual vacuum left by the masjid’s demolition.” Because nothing says ‘urban development’ quite like uprooting community structures and replacing them with bureaucratic hot air and delays that are longer than the average Turkish traffic jam.
Meanwhile, the pedestrian overpass, that ambitious promise from the great minds of the municipality, stands like a mirage, tantalizingly forward in time but eternally out of reach—like a late-night infomercial for a product you’ll never get around to buying. Residents are left clutching straws while waiting for some divine intervention—or at the very least, a municipal miracle—hoping that someday this overpass will transform their daily commutes into a grand pilgrimage.
So as commuters shuffle through the chaos, the real pondering continues: what will happen first—an end to this urban circus, or the resurrection of a masjid colocated with a well-functioning restroom? Either way, it looks like the real winners in this demolition derby are the skeptics and cynics who have made betting pools on the future of city infrastructure a popular village pastime. Here’s to Istanbul, where chaos is king, and the masjids—like the overpasses—are always just around the corner, eternally under construction!
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